Cold Case Lucky Stars
by imsoproudofyou
Summary: This is an AU story for the time post 7/22. We'll meet new people in Lillys life, face her growin' relationship with Scotty and we will visit the beautiful country of Tennessee again! There will be some old and dear friends, some of them who will suprise us with their return to the surface and some new friends, out there, at the "home" of country music! Hope ya enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**AN:**

**Hi, this is the start of my story which's called „Lucky Stars".**

**It's a little short, but there's much more where this comes from :)**

**I posted it in our german fandom and now i'll give it a try to take it up to here **

**as a translation.**

**If you have any suggestions about horrible gramma or other mistakes **

**or something else: I'm always greatful for constructive criticism!**

**Otherwise... i hope ya enjoy and if someone out there might leave a review-**

**i'm the happiest person in the world, i promise! So... please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I own absolutley nothing! **

**No show, no songs, no lyrics, no artists, no actors-**

**god, this sounds so sad! But i will, i guess, at least when i'll be up to chap.11 :)**

**But now... i have to be patient with that and wait for Izzie.**

**Timeline: Post Season 7 Episode 22, „Shattered", **

**mentions/related to Season 4 Episode 11 „The Red and The Blue" **

**and later Season 7 Episodes 18/19/20...**

**And now...**

**Have fun with the followin' story! On with the show!**

**Special regards to you, my dear friend, oucellogal :)**

**It's thanx to you that i'm proudly present this here!**

-1- A Phone Call from Tennessee

Lucille „Honey" Sugar picked up the phone and turned a pensive little buisness card in her hands.

„Yeah , is this the Philadelphia Police Department ?

You see, I'd liked to speak to Detective Lilly Rush , please.

Would you mind tellin' her please, that Lucille Sugar wants to talk her?

Don't worry, she will already know if you mentioned my name, Ma'am..

Yeah, thank you very much!"

A short music hold on with Mozart was playin' quitely in her phone.

On Lucilles own radio, Country Music was playin' and Lucille rocked back and forth on her stool

next to the phone she was sitting on, along with the music, the guitar and the smooth voice of

Kenny Chesney.

Outside, the sun shone through her curtains, dipped her cozy living room in warm summer colors-

orange, yellow, and pink blossomed into the room out from the ranch.

From the porch, the low hum of crickets came along with the scent of fresh hay.

A light, warm breeze billowed the beige curtains.

Lucille smiled brightly and took the long phone cord , twisted it and walked over to the front door.

She opened it a little and looked thoughtful at the long row of white fences, rolling down the hills with their gold-green grasses that bow in the breeze that came down from the Great Smokey Mountains .

Her horses were grazing close to each other on the meadows.

From time to time they moved on and dust came up when one left the series to trot in search of a few remaining green stalks a bit towards the stream whichs flowin' in the corner of the meadow.

From time to time Lucille can hear the gentle sound of their hooves that moved on the grass ,

such as air cushion and the rhythmic grinding of their jaws.

It was a pleasant, quiet and peaceful sound to her.

Today it was also way too hot, so that they won't fight or play with each other ,

as they did usually in the early morning hours.

Their big shiny bodies moved in perfect harmony, nearly synchron, to wind and grass up and down

the hill in front of her house, a wonderful sight of the great nature that's souroundin'

her Quater Horse ranch up here in Tennessee.

Rarely one threw up its head and listened with pricked ears to things that were always remain hidden for herself as only a human with only human hearin'.

Maybe they heard the call of freedom, the ones these last wild horses in the mountains up there

sent down to them, in the hope of being able to win their hearts with it and took them away

from her owner.

But the pretty white fence held the Quaters at her ranch.

The fence and the knowledge that this was their home.

A small smile brightened Lucille „Honey" Sugars features as she thought about showin'

these piece of land with all its glory to her dear friend, PPD Detective Lilly Rush, soon.


	2. Chapter 2

-2- Nick and the pictures on her desk

„Rush, Valens, where are you?! Boss wants to talk to you both!"

Nick Vera pushed down his readin' glasses a little bit further deeper down onto his nose.

Yeah, latley he had to wear these damn glasses at work and the harsh comments from the colleagues were down on him.

Kat had been bad enough but now that Lil and Scotty are back at the precinct...

He looked around for them and catched them showin' straight up out of the break room.

Lilly Rush handed her partner a mug of coffee in a causual movement and Scotty was

takin' it while he seemed to be engrossed in a file.

He nodded a little „thanks" to her without usin' words.

„Nice try, Vera, but who are ya tryin' to fool?

Are you sure that you don't need some aid for your ears as well?"

Scotty was laughin', stood up and went around Nicks desk.

Vera got a playful slap on the shoulder which brought his nose very very near to the computer.

„That's better, ya know, this is the right position, Nicky, nearly down on the screen-

The one we all come to love along the last weeks!"

No one who saw them, Lil and Scotty, at least would have noticed something odd in their behavior.

Nobody.. but Nick.

They returned from their little encounter with Rushs sister Christina and now they seriously and sucsessfully did as if nothin' special had happened at all.

They brought Chris down to rehab, her little daughter Alexis „Nellie" lived with the grandparents Paul and Celeste Cooper from now on

and as long as Nick knew her, Lilly's spendin' more time with her „new" family- for the first time in ages- than at the office.

And, almost to much to bear for Nicks curiousity, there was a frame.

A frame on her desk.

A frame with a photo.

A frame with actually livin' people on its photo-

no more cold ones.

Not any longer.

Or so it seemed.

A happily gigglin', gorgeous blonde, lookin' baby, completly dressed in pink, in a park,

on a red picnic blanket in the sunshine under the first green leaves of springtime.

Whoes face was covered in ice-cream and who hold onto two adults

who looked as quite as cheerful about it, grinnin' wildly for the camera, the grand parents in the background.

As much as like the family Lil had always wanted.

Had always wished for.

And longed for.

Okay- once apart from the fact that this was not her own baby girl but her niece.

And not her husband.

But sometimes you'll have to take what life offered to ya face!

They couldn't deceive Nick Vera.

Couldn't fool him.

Not him.

Not any longer.

Now Scotty opened the door to Boss bureau for Lil, one hand on the small of her back,

gently, almost softly, guidin' her through it.

Nick raised up his eyebrows suggestively.

She didn't even flinch at the contact!

If that's not a suprise- the Ice Queen of Homicide, known as Lilly Rush,

bein' comfortable with her partners hands on her !?

Scotty noticed Nicks glare and put on one of his famous, lopsided

Valens-grins for his friend and colleague.

That's the moment Nick recognized the coffee

which's splashed all over the top of the mountain of papers

on his own desk.

„Valens- ya damn dog!"

Nick exclaimed under his breath and tried to wipe away the coffee off of the file in front of him.

Scotty showed him his most smuggish' grin and whispered quietly, almost unhearable,

even if you have the best damn hearin' in the world (so that Lilly won't get it!) :

„No offense, Nicky, but ya earned it, chasin' after me an' Lil like ya did the last days!"

Scotty's quiet, satisfied chuckle was heard and died away behind the closin' doors to

Lieutenant Stillman's office.


	3. Chapter 3

-3- What if

The car door was slammed shut.

"You can't be serious , Scotty. "

A snort beside her shoulder revealed that he had a different opinion.

"Is the idea that bad to get vacation, instead of a disciplinary sanction ,

including Suspension, Lil ? And only one bad entry in the Service Record ? "

If she hadn't known better, Lilly could have sworn that there was something else,

more meaningful resonated in Scotty Valens voice than just sarcasm.

"I have not the slightest clue where i can hide for nearly four months as boss had said,

Let alone that i can't see Nellie as long this lasts!

And three months is a long time in the life of a toddler ... "

Scotty looked silently out of the window and at least now she just knew that something was wrong.

"Everythin' kay, Scotty ? "

But he started the engine instead of givin' her an answer.

Wordlessly, he snaked through rush hour traffic and finally stopped in front of the house

her father .

Inside was a little light on and her „little" teenage-brother Finn sat on the porch,

his head bent over a guitar.

Lilly grimaced: Please- no more guitar strumming , her nervees wouldn't bear that today.

Not after this ... leave of absence .

"Well, will ya say goodbye now to me, or do we have to return to the old

bad cop , good cop – number? Do i have to talk to ya again with the last name, Valens? "

When no reply came, Lilly seized a sigh, grabbed the knob of her door

and her hand was already wrapped tightly around it and around her handbag.

" Whatever. Bye, Valens . Thanks for the stimulating entertainment ! "

"Do you mind to do a little thinkin' for me, about where you want to go , Lil? And with whom. "

That stopped her.

Finn looked suspicious to the car that showed up on their doorstep , but remained seated ,

and Lilly briefly waved at him.

„Hmh...i think I'd loved to stay here with my family, of course.

Then I can visit Nellie more often and see how Chris is doin' in rehab .

I can lend Celeste a hand in the rose garden and let the sun bur my fur.

Who knows , maybe I'll even get to be brown! "

She sighed theatrically, then smiled dreamily .

"No , okay, that is really pretty unlikely , I admit it !

I could use the time for finally teach Finn to properly play the guitar ! "

Scotty observed her from the side.

He raised his eyebrows and muttered almost toneless:

"This is about that boss will give us a chance.

A chance to find ourselfs again , Lil .

Not that he meant to find us thrown into family affairs. "

Lilly laid her hand gently on his arm that was still absent on the steering wheel .

"Ya sound so serious, Scotty. Is this something about your mum? "

He shook his head , muttering angrily .

"Oh , Scotty , come on! It's me, your partner! You can tell me everything! "

she said gently and squeezed his arm.

All out of the sudden she was in good mood!

She, herself, Lilly Rush had plans with a family! The Ice Queen of Homicide ...

The twitching of his mouth was contagious .

Grinning, she punched his arm and was surprised that he did not flinch .

Maybe ... there were still hope that their friendship would recover from this new adventure with Chris again.

Actually -

Lilly cocked her head and dropped her hand, the plan to leave, was forgotten.

Suddenly she saw this afternoon in the park in front of her eyes.

And remembered the events.

She almost felt the sun on her arms again, the sleeves of her blouse rolled up.

The ice that dripped from Nellie's chin , causing her goose bumps.

"Hold on, Small! It'll be done soon. And your momma's gonna like the picture ! "

Scotty soothed the little girl and wiped away the rest of the icecream on Lilly's arm.

As if that had done anything good against the goosebumps! Just the contrary!

It was goin' worse.

Lilly's cheeks turned red.

Celeste came over to them , took the baby from them and patted Scotty 's shoulder.

"It's really very nice of you that you have helped Lilly in Babysitting ,

Detective Valens . But we couldn't cancel that appointment under any circumstances, really! "

She winked mischievously at Lilly and Scotty raised his hands defensively .

" No problem, I 'm still happy to do so, Mrs. Cooper.

But I beg ya – please, call me Scotty- finally! It's just Scotty.

I mean - you are the Gran'ma of my goddaughter , it is about time ! "

Celeste handed the child to Paul and threw both arms virtually around the neck of the little overwhelmed looking Scotty .

" And you can call me Celeste, Sweetie ! "

Lilly could not resist a chuckle when her stepmother hugged him,

her typical over-eagerness all thrown on Scotty and Celesete squeezed both of his cheeks.

" Oh ... okay . Celeste . Excuse me, but... "

he threw Lilly a half confused , half - worried helpless look from his deep brown eyes .

Once again he reminded her of a puppy .

"Yeah, Chris couldn't have done a better pick, Scotty.

You both as godfather and godmother -

I mean, gracious god, you are already partners at work and very close friends, "

Celeste reached out after Lilly and pulled the reluctant blonde in a hug that blew out all the air's left in her lungs.

Uh oh, Matchmaker Alert!

In Lilly's head already rang all the alarm bells .

"Left the poor Scotty alone, Celeste . He really don't deserve it! "

" Oh , Lilly, ya do yourself and ya family no good in an understatement of your pride! "

If even possible, Celeste moved closer to her.

"Any reasonably, intelligent young man must be honored

to have someone like you as a girlfriend , Sweetheart ! "

Oh God, where was the nearest hole in the ground into which she could disappear ?

Or at least could put her head into it, and never look back out !

"Celeste ! "

Lilly hissed embaressed and wriggled out of the steely grip, eyes fixed desperately to her father

and her niece, who went to the house ahead of them and givin' them their time to come home.

But there waited only Finn- and his nerve-wracking guitar.

As if he'd noticed Lilly's martyrdom Paul stopped on the porch.

Scotty's amused laugh ringed in their ears.

"No, Lil ,that's all right! I feel very honored , Rush , to be honest ! "

Nervously, she threw him a look , only to find that he winked at her, too -

an exaggerated repetition of Celeste 's gesture.

Aargh ..

"Now please do not say that you're still talks extra politely, kids! "

Celeste sounded genuinely scared and rattled Scotty's arm.

" You're staying for dinner , of course , Cutie . And then we change this silly behaivior,

don't we, Lilly ? "

Celeste's tone reminded Lilly of this conversation which Lilly had caused since she had missed the family dinners .

Damn!

This tone allowed no argument.

"Celeste , please."

If hiss did not work , then maybe begging could.

" Lilly , please. The bottle of French Chardonnay that your father has brought me last year from Paris begs after such a fabulous opportunity! "

All right, let's forget the begging.

Damn, the woman was simply clever demonized.

Celeste knew every trick .

Then something happened that Scotty Valens would have never suspected his life.

Detective Lillian Rush laid down her arms in defeat.

Bowed her head in the view of this hopeless situation.

He couldn't believe this worked out on her...

He had to remember that trick- it might be useful someday ...

"Don't worry , Lil . I do not bite , I promise. "

Scotty was enjoying himself splendidly over her embarrassment.

Oh, Valens, wait on, i'll get you, too!

Lilly thought sourly.

"No one said that I have to touch you, Scotty! "

Had his eyes may come out of the caves a moment earlier,

Lil would have sworn they had just done it now.

Instead, he suddenly grinned impudently from one ear to the other.

"But if I remember correctly, a little physical contact was necessary because ..

at least to drink to brotherhood , if we speak about the same topic, Lil..."

Celeste clearly seemed to enjoy the little drama and did nothing to assist Lilly.

"I knew that I would still find a suitable opportunity .

Oh, I 'm so excited! I love family reunions ! ...

Well, something like that, of course!

And baptisms. And ...

Weddings, of course! "

"Dad ! "

Lilly didn't know what else to do any longer.

"Could you please take your wife out of my hair and get me out of her vice,

before I have to drag Scotty to the altar, because she ascribes already fantasized children to us? Please, Dad! "

Paul Cooper looked up, gave Nellie over to her uncle Finn, who had come to meet them,

and then freed Lilly softly out of the firm grip of her stepmother .

" I am pleased that we get ya as a potential son , Scotty.

If I'll be allowed to pick out someone - "

But his face told Paul off.

His blue eyes sparkled .

Lilly's eyes.

Chris eyes.

Nellie's eyes.

"No , forget it , we don't give our treasure Lilly here as easy away as this.

You have to come up with something very special to get her... "

Lilly hid her face in the light wind jacket of her father.

"I think we should stop Paul . Otherwise, we have to call the fire department ,

because your daughter is on fire.

I apologize , sometimes I have this effect on women and I can't do anything about it... "

Scotty now put an arm around her shoulders gently and made no attempt to let go

until they all had reached the house.

Puzzled, she found out herself at the staircase to the porch ,

that she had done nothing against this „huggin'" herself.

It felt .. correctly.

Familiar .

Familiar, yes. Lilly decided .

Right.

It felt right.

I'm goin' sentimental with him, in my old age, she thought to herself.

Scotty held the door open for her to get in.

Full gentleman, as always.

"After you , Lilly. "

"No, I beg ya, Scotty , after you! "

Now both wanted the same thing and entered the living room at the same time.

They rattled together.

A small confusion arose and they nearly stumbled over their own feet.

The bright laughter of a child commented the behavior of the adults.

All stared fascinated at the little girl in their midst.

"Do i hear correct? Did she just laughed? The moment Scotty an' I collide?"

Lilly asked, completly captured in the moment.

The brightness of Celeste 's smile could have shone through a wall.

All three men collectivley nodded.

And Lilly's red head resembled now more and more to a fire hydrant .


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:**

**Hi, thank you so much, oucellogal, for the reviews and your kind words!**

-4- I'm the lucky one/Sudden realization

Who knows, maybe ... maybe I'll still a normal girl.

Lilly thought and felt as if she was flooded with an unknown feelin'.

Happiness.

Yes, she was just ... happy.

Despite job ban.

She couldn't even thought about bein' without her job- ever-,

and now... now everything she felt was some kind of relief.

As if a mountain was taken from her heart...

When was the last time she had a vacation?

She couldn't even remember that.

A thought flashed through her head.

A phone call she got some time ago came to her mind.

And suddenly she knew where she wanted to go.

Where she will fly to.

To return to this country might do her some good-

she felt nice and wellcomed there once.

Had made some new friends.

Enjoyed the countryside and the kindness of the people there.

Maybe she could be happy in Tennessee, again.

She was sure now where to go.

And with whom.

All she had to do was talkin' some sense back into him to take him with her.

He hated to take a seat in a plane because he has fear of flying...

But he was the one who suggested she should made a decision.

So she'd decided where she wanted to be during the Suspension.

And that she wanted to be there with nobody but him.

Nobody else.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:**

**I'm a music junkie. **

**So now i'm goin' to start makin' suggestions for **

**songs i'd like to hear while writin' these chapters.**

**You'll notice there where so many of them and the most**

**will be Country songs, because this is some kind'f **

„**Country story" and they fit so good with all their**

**meaningful words and wonderful guitar and piano playin'.**

**But their're just suggestions, no orders.**

**If anybody might have other ones- let me know 'bout it!**

**Hope ya enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothin' ya know!**

Leann Rimes

Help me make it through the night

/RNLzZQ-0-zI

Leann Rimes

How do i live?

/Nsft01S4Lwc

Goo Goo dolls

Iris

/B8UeeIAJ0a0

-5- And I don't want the world to see me 'cause I don't think that they'd understand  
when everything's made to be broken i just want you to know who i am

Night came up .

The air was fresh and the breath of spring, he had felt this morning was still there.

The lights of the city were almost infinitely remote from up here.

Scotty looked thoughtfully at the waves of the Schuylkill, which raged pitch black flowed under

him.

Sometimes ... sometimes these waters seemed to pull at my soul.

he thought sadly and followed the stream with the eyes to the point

where the flow was left to the sky- to him, as she had left him.

In the middle of nowhere.

Never to be seen again.

In the Distance, on the horizon.

Sometimes, as if within reach.

Nevertheless unattainable.

So close .. and yet so far.

Scotty thought back to Lilly's words, the words she had replied to him,

a long time ago,

when he had asked with a sigh after a long day in the archive as he started with the cold ones,

what it was it would be worth fighting for

in this job actually.

Sometimes, when they had completed a case, she could see the dead, she'd said.

For a brief moment that could gave her peace.

Now, at this moment, he wished this peace may reached him,too.

But perhaps he, Scotty Valens, was strayed too far away from that path.

His mother's tormentors haunted his head.

Dear Lord, forgive me my sins.

The magic which exercised the black water on him, tripled.

Was there forgiveness for him?

After all, what had he done?

Elissa -

He should have protected her.

He had left her.

Had left her alone.

He had failed.

Tears wanted to roll down his cheek,

but he tried, annoyed with himself, sniffling, to wipe them off with the sleeve of his jacket.

Chris.

A liar. A player. An addict.

His greatest betrayal of the woman who really meant something to him.

The wrong sister.

Frankie .

A married woman .

And yet ... he couldn't... escape... going on to be doomed.

And Lil herself?

Perhaps his greatest sin.

Because isn't it the greatest sin, if you deny the ones you love?

When you betray the one an' only who meant more to you than the world itself,

more than anything else in your world, when you hurt her the most,

just because of the fact...because you knew her worsest weakness...

just to protect yourself from pain?

God might be forgivin'.

But he couldn't forgive himself for that.

Because that's what Chris had been to him-

a way to protect himself from the love he felt for her sister,

even than.

And the whole Christina thing, only –

this was it what Scotty realized in this very second- now-

and a hot burning inside him made it hard to breathe while it -

to keep Lil at arm's length.

Far away ...

But...

Within his reach.

And yet at a distance, too.

Not, -as how he had always imagined it bitterly-

because it was HER, pushin' HIM back,

but HE, who could live without their proximity- but not _with_ her.

He could not let down his facade of the smart and cool Detective.

That cocky bastard.

Today he built up the walls around him- again.

Higher, so he had to admit to himself, than ever.

After the thing with Chris ...

How stupid he had seemed to be when he - once again as she was held hostage-

made his way to play the knight in shining armor for Christina, the damsel in distress,

or was that Lil, this time?

Was it to proove to Lil, that he was worth it, askin' him to help her with her sister?

If he was true to himself he was glad that she asked him for help.

That Lilly allowed him to be her hero...

or at least the one with the Teaser.

What had he hoped for?

With that confrontation in the lobby, so many years ago,

or even with the fight with Lilly in the car outside her house before they went on to get Chris back?

That she will throw her arms around his neck,

might have kissed him and whispered to him how much she loved him

and how many children they would get together ?

Part of his Self... wanted it.

So eagerly, to hear it from her mouth.

These three words .

And the other -

was afraid to hear that from her.

Yeah, it was a feeling of fear .

Fear of being hurt again, by love.

Because she was the only one

who really would be capable of destroyin' him

if she might took her love away from him someday.

Just a note, just a look, a touch ...

and his world would break into a thousand pieces.

And he was sure that he would never recover from that kind of pain.

Never pick up the pieces in which his soul would shatter, couldn't gather them together again.

He, Scotty Valens, was afraid.

He was shaking like a leaf.

He was afraid:

To be heard-

and to be rejected -

at the same time.

Schizophrenia, right?

But it was the truth, damn it!

His last relationships ...

he had chosen them- all these women- because they would pose no threat to him.

Elissa -

Because he knew her his whole life.

There was no risk with Elissa, or so he thought that time.

Because she was sick. A good way to get out before it became serious.

Chris -

because she was the safe option, instead of the other, after whom his heart so urgently demanded.

Why had Lilly been the one he couldn't spoke to all the time, after Elissa's death?

Because he had known that he won't seemed to be weak in her eyes if he didn't let her in.

His highly polished image, the one he had of himself,

the one he wanted Lil to see, could get no scratches.

And Chris ... she was a part of Lil.

The part that he thought he could have safely.

Playing with Fire would have had irritated him.

And yes, perhaps he had only wanted to see it,

there, back in the lobby, in her eyes...

The jealousy, blazing like fire,

the tears ,

the reassurance what he meant to her, to Lilly.

More than what she wanted to admit to him.

He had secretly hoped to lure her from her reserve, he admitted to himself now.

But he had been stupid.

To knew his partner this long- might not still be enough time- to realize, how stupid

he give a damn about the consequences for their just incipient bond

he conjured up with his recklessness.

He had almost lost her forever.

Because gaining Lilly Rush's confidence was hard enough, but then give it away again -

he just had been such a fool!

He did not know what he had done to earn her forgiveness.

But the fact was, she had managed to forgive him -

perhaps it was even in the realm of possibility

that he should took a sample and forgave himself,too.

He had certainly done enough penance.

And his fear and bitterness brought him nothing good.

Alex-

this bed story was not even worth a mention.

Never danger to his oh-so- poor, embattled heart.

And Frankie...

who was a married woman.

The end of that affair had been in sight faster than any of his other relationships.

But she was the one with whom he felt some kind of pain- again.

Not so strong, not so hard, but it was there.

And reminded him of closin' his heart,

protectin' it better,

buildin'up walls 'round it, higher than ever.

What remained was, as always, only Lilly Rush.

But Lil was...

This wonderful, great,

beautiful, simply stunnin',

heartwrenchin', breathtakin'...

Rose with thorns.

When he stood up for his love,

if he'll ever admit his feelings to her,

he'll have to bleed.

And there still was Saccardo.

And this terrible type from the FBI.

Lilly did not know- that he knew about him, but there had been this meeting,

just before they were both gone off to New York.

And Scotty's world had been shaken to its foundations .

The grin on the face of the other man, who now leaned on Lil's desk,

had made Scotty's blood boil that day- and now, when he thought about it.

„_Lilly is not here. _

_And she won't speak to you even if she were!_

_And you certainly do not want to have a chit chat with me, so- leave me-_

_an' her- alone, Cavanaugh!"_

_he hissed at the insolent guy._

_Quickly by chance _

_his elbows touch the leg of the other man, _

_pushing the person his words were addressed to _

_directly down her table._

_But the guy caught himself faster than he thought._

„_How do you know she won't, Detective Valens?"_

_Scotty whished he had stuffed the Special Agent's cheeky mouth with his fist._

„_Because she's my partner._

_An' i know her._

_Since almost eight goddamn years, you, you ... _

_I'm too much of a gentleman than I would tell ya-_

_here in the presence of my boss and my colleagues- _

_what I think of you, Fed!_

_Or rather, what you deserve to hear from me .. "_

_He slammed the guy the desired file in the chest, then Scotty leaned close to him._

„_Leave her alone or you'll regret it!"_

_The guy laughed his filthy self-conscious _

„_I-am - the - guy - from - FBI - I - can - not – be - threatened-"_

_Special Agent- laughter and threw Scotty an almost soft soundin' sentence:_

„_But how am I supposed to do that, Valens! _

_I did not get her out of my hair._

_And although you may be her partner in Philadelphia, Chicco, _

_i assume that ya don't know as much 'bout ya partner as you think-_

_because I'm the one she'd kissed."_

_Scotty convulsively closed his eyes against the nagging pain._

_Again... and again... these last words echoed in his head... back and forth._

_The guy had put a note on the table, the smug grin still stellenend on display, and was withdrawn._

_And Scotty's world had stopped to turn on for a moment._

„_Hey, Scotty, what's up, buddy? Ya look so pale, you're sick, aren't ya?"_

_Kat had appeared beside him and put a _

_sympathetically hand on his shoulder._

„_A nasty fellow. No idea what Lil might find attractive in him."_

_She looked behind her ass and Scotty suddenly felt dizzy._

_If even Kat knew it – it had to be true._

„_You mean ... him ...an' Lil..._

_Naw..."_

_Scotty stammered and coughed and pushed back a feeling of nausea._

„_Well, after all, what one hears ..."_

_Kat replied , shaking her head and took off her coffee cup from Scotty's desk._

„_Bah, just the thought of her kissin' that bad ass..._

_Now i feel sick, too, thanx, Scotty..."_

_He threw himself back into his chair, coughed and felt a stone hard mask came down onto his face. _

_His head dropped to the table._

_Damn, well, he had made a great fool out of himself._

_Scotty's cell phone rang._

„_This is Lil , down there, she waits in the car for me."_

_He raised a shakin' hand, throwin' stupid greetings or goodbye winks _

_in Vera's, Miller's and Jeffries direction._

„_I 'm off, kinda make a night of it, guys! Miller..."_

_Kat shook her head at his behavior._

„_Anyone in for a bet that Scotty's goin' to tell her how he really felt for her in the next..._

_hmh.. five months?!"_

_she suggested and raised her eyebrows at Vera and Jeffries._

„_Na, he won't, he's to much a coward for that."_

_Vera said and shrugged._

„_Not, that it isn't obvisious to anyone but her."_

„_I say he's afraid of loosin' her but to afraid to admit it._

_I think it will take another month more or she will open her eyes and suprise him."_

_the old Detective Jeffries countered._

„_'Kay, guys, if i win i'd like to give up on paperwork for the next five months, too._

_And if anyone of ya will win- the loosers have to do the same thing for him as long as it_

_will took our both headstrong Detectives to give a confession of love, 'kay?_

_Ya in, aren't ya?"_

_And so, unnoticed by Lil or Scotty- and fortunatley, Boss, they did „high-five" at that statement._

Lilly looked at him out of her big, shinin' blue eyes friendly now, in the car.

Yeah, she even smiled as if she was actually pleased to see him.

And his stomach did exact the usual joyful twist and turn as always.

Scotty swallowed hard.

Get yourself together, Valens!

This is non of your buisness.

Her...kissin' that bastard.

He remembered these events and sighed deeply now.

Yeah, maybe he should've bet with his PPD colleagues-

about with whom she would go-

to her not-so-voluntarily-vacation.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:**

**My greatest thanks to oucellogal and little dark starling for the reviews!**

**Yeah- ya made my day, ya two!**

**Okay, go on, i'll get the next one!**

_**Songs: **_

_**Just give me a reason by Pink feat. Nate Ruess**_

_**When i was your man by Bruno Mars**_

_**The Kiss Twighlight Eclipse Soundtrack**_

-6-

" Scotty. "

"Yes, Lil ? "

She had opened the car door, then closed it again.

There was something in the way , when he said her name, that made her wince .

But well, now was not the time for excuses. Or flinching .

It was time- for Now or Never!

"If i beg ya, ya comin' to Tennessee with me? "

Silence .

Plump and heavy silence.

Why ?

Never in life , she would have thought Scotty Valens has nothin to say to the matter.

There was definatly a lack of words in his manner to deal with the situation.

Puzzled and confused, she looked at him with narrowed blue ice blazin' like ice flashes

from the side , trying to make sense of it.

Nothing happened though and just when she thought he wouldn't answer ever he said stearnly :

" To Tennessee, Lil ? You mean ... 12 hours driving? Throwin' Big Daddy a visit? "

Relieved to have not made a complete fool out of herself , Lilly sighed tiredly.

Finn was now gone in and Celeste drew the curtains aside, waved at them like he did before, too .

The friendly face of her stepmother disappeared and Lilly regretted it immediately -

she felt somehow outnumbered and left alone to deal with him now.

" Yeah, I mean- No!

Actually, I wanted to fly , this time .

Visit a friend's ranch.

Perhaps you remember her - Lucille "Honey" Sugar ,

the widow of the musician -Truck Sugar.

We were on their ranch ,

as we did the interviews for his case ... "

Sky's fallin'- she sounded like a desperate little kid that ached for attention.

Did she really have to beg for it ?

"I remember . Did not even know that you have it with horses, Lil .

If I remember correctly, the Sugars breeds Quater Horses , right? "

His voice sounded metallic, cold, totally unfamiliar and his face was closed .

Slowly it shown through to Lil colorful that she wanted to finally force him-

to spend time with her, but if this... person... didn't want to...

But she'd come to the decision that she deserved an answer.

" So .. now you're comin' or not?"

What should this ... behavior mean - it was almost distraught –

she didn't know him in this state of mind.

What was wrong with him?

"Have ya ever ride a horse, Lil ? "

Now Lilly felt gradually a blush arose at her face, her cheeks started to burn like hell.

And anger clenched her heart.

But there was something else , just out of her reach ...

Anger, yes , but was this... disappointment ?

"Damn , Scotty , no, for your information, I can't ride, haven't learned it, but that's not what I ...

Would ya dare to answer my question ? !"

Lil was taken aback .

His knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel hard.

" No. "

She could not believe it !

"What? "

She was completely perplexed.

" I said -No .

I'm not comin'. "

"But ... But-, ...

Why not?!

I don't understand ...

Is it because of your family?

You need help with your Mum's case, don't ya? I 'm sure - "

But he suddenly let go of the steering wheel, held up a hand in her direction ,

as if to shove her virtually out of the car .

How hostile!

" Yeah , Lil!

THAT's exactly my problem:

**You**. Do. NOT. _Understand_ . Absolutely. **Nothin**'!"

„Okay, that's enough!"

She stomped away angrily and looked back, saw that his head was sunk on the steering wheel.

Nevertheless, Lilly marched on before she realized... something-

that made her stop in track on the way up to the veranda high.

Had he shrugged his shoulders ?

Is he...

Yeah.. they're shakin', don't they?!

Or was it just her imagination ?

Her gaze drifted nervously towards the house .

It promised her safety.

If she turned now ... maybe she did not want to hear

what he had to say to her if she'll return to him now.

Maybe she just wanted to run away , wallowing in self-pity ,

now that he had rejected her.

What was he thinkin to do so?!

Inwardly, however, she admitted to herself - that she didn't want to quit this so fast and rude.

She had to fix it, this time.

In contrast... compare to earlier in their partnership.

At the time according to... Elissa .

He had pushed her back once when Elissa died and she'd leave it at that.

If she would have took it accurate, chased after him in those days,

maybe it would have required not much, and it could have been anything...

much more... better... - be different-

between them.

She should have just jump over her damn shadows, her so f...cked up high stone walls

that she'd built up around her little, already broken heart.

She, Lilly, should have picked up the phone.

Knocked on his appartment door.

Maybe ... maybe she would have comforted him finally...

as he would have deserved it .

If she had admitted it back then that she wanted to console him.

And he... Scotty that he needed to be consoled.

That all he needed was help- her help- to get over the overtakin' pain.

Scotty Valens who would have needed Lilly Rush.

And not her sister .

Moment . Lilly was taken aback .

Why didn't he come to me ?

And why I wonder that now ?

A reply .

All she needed was a response, and this time she wanted to hear it!

Lilly Rush in search for answers... if that was somethin new.

But here and now she could switch off everything from the past, couldn't she?

By just trying to make it better for him..

Be not so hasty to give up.

She had to find out why he is not the way as he was used to be.

That was not Scotty in this car – or at least not the Scotty Valens , she knew for so long.

A quick glance at her feet to gather the courage to move on from here.

Lilly took a short and strong breath,noticed that she had held it for far too long now,

and sighed off all alibis to hide behind her ice queen mask.

It had never occurred to herself that she would be someone who'll chase after a man, though...

Why was she doin' it now?

He had dismissed her.

Why should she care about what's goin on with him?

She could made herself comfortable in Celeste's rose garden,

talk a bit with her Dad, spend time with Finn, Christina and Alexis...

enjoy herself.

He really did not have to spend this "holiday" with her, that's for sure!  
And she didn't either!

But ...

She wanted it .

That's her big problem .

It was as if something inside her screamed for closeness .

She wanted to be close to him.

Wouldn't want to let him out of sight.

She... oh God...

She...

needed...

Him.

Damn!

How did he do that to her!

Lilly Rush never- ever- needed ANYONE!

But the realization hit her like a train right onto her forehead.

And suddenly she had the urgent desire to slap herself!

So she did it and hissed quietly under her breath:

„Ouch... that'd hurt, Rush."

Oh, yeah... that'd hurt so deeply...

How should she go on, knowin' that she'll depend on someone from now on?

No, not someone, it's her partner!

Dependin' means the chance to get hurt again.

To suffer...

If everythin' went wrong with him like it did with all the others...

And the only one she could blame was... her.

And his eyes.

That looked at her the way only he did.

His lips.

That didn't curved into that lopsided Valens grin like everytime he wanted to make her smile

or put her off guard.

Or to even just mock her.

She realized that she was kinda'f afraid of his non reaction.

A lump grew in her throat as big as a mountain.

So she got angry with him.

And he could've laughed about her cheeks turnin' red but...

but not now.

Damn you, Valens!

For bein the way you are.

His way of hidden touches when he thought she wouldn't recognize them.

His eyes, so ful of concern, or gleamin', or warmth...

God, how she missed that warmth...

And now, slowly, but strongly, she couldn't stop herself from... thinkin'.

Almost... wishin'... that it may be otherwise, that it all went well with them-

that there's a chance they could „survive" a relationship.

Did-

she-

just-

mention-

herself-

and Valens-

in-the- same- sentence-

with- the- word-

RELATIONSHIP?!

Lilly started a different kinda'f search now...

A search within her.

Usually she chickened out when she even thought about bein tied to a person.

But... not now.

Now she was... calm.

Even... glad...that she come to this conclusion.

Her and Scotty, together.

Suprisingly this sounds... good and... natural in her own thoughts...

What does this means?

Do i want to be involved with him?

Since when did the thought not bring out the worst in me?

But...

Lilly Rush's... needin'...Scotty Valens.

His understanding . His presence . His accursed presence.

Because he had always been there .

For her.

Just say...

Why did he unlatched now so suddenly out of her life like this?

Oh no , Valens .

Not again.

You can't hide from me anylonger.

Not with me !

Not anymore.

What was behind this case?

The Scotty case... the way he acted so strangely...

and her feelings...

As a case , the aim was to solve .

And her nose was piqued.

The security of the house was still there .

Lilly could not help it - she smiled happily.

Her family would always be there for her, in the future ... what a good feeling.

Something had changed in her life.

Or maybe it's just... her.

She'd transformed into a honorable person.

Now she had a family.

One of the big holes in her heart was almost entirely closed.

Written with black letters on the box so she laughed a little

at the comparisation to the other beloved thing in her life- her job.

But there was at least this other- great part of her life, too , she did not want to lose .

The part she... admired the most.

The part she wished for so desperatly.

But the part that had once been shattered and it was

so hard, pickin' up the pieces then and if he will do the harm

to it, she's sure she won't recover.

Because... because...

She...

oh yes, the detective nose throws a party,

yeah Rush, ya got it, finally!,

she...

really,

deeply,

truly...

loved...

this...

Part.

This part whoes still sitting in the car, dropped in on himself.

The very fact that he was not already set off was strange .

He was still in this pose .

When her hand reached for the door, she was aware that he had not even locked from the inside.

That alone made her worrin' about his wellbein' immediatley.

Lilly opened the door and slid in a smooth motion back into her seat by his side.

Very slowly he turned to face her .

As if in slow motion.

That's the moment she saw it.

Somethin's glitterin' in his eyes.

And her heart broke a little at that sight.

Her heart seemed to miss a beat.

It seemed he was not even angry with her...

There was only mourning.

And loss.

But this were not her feelings of loneliness and alone the thought that she caused him all that hurt,

all this pain she saw there, deep within his wonderful coffeebrown eyes, hurts all the more.

It's all on him.

All his own.

No.

Scotty, please, don't look at me like that!

He looked at her as if he had lost her.

Then he let go of the steering wheel , turned his eyes on his knuckles ,

which now began nervously and rhythmically close themselves around the leather and re-open .

"Hey . "

He.

Said.

Hey.

To.

Her.

Almost so quietly that she could not hear it,

might have missed it if she would have been on the way to leave again .

That's what she's great at, isn't it?

Runnin' away somehow.

Or made every man in her life run for the sky only so he could get away from her.

Like she did with Kite.

Or Joseph.

Or the others who had _left_ **her** alone...

But... this time...

she's tellin' him...

she's tellin' him...

She could not help but supressed a smirk.

Or a heavy sigh.

Or - tears.

The tears she felt glitterin' in her own lashes.

Lilly wrapped both arms around his back , his neck, pulling him as best she could

over to her and hugged him tightly.

"I 'm here , Scotty , I 'm not going anywhere . I 'm here for you . "

He chuckeled bitterly.

What did he laughed 'bout?

At her?

Or her words?

Suddenly her arms flew back and he hissed at her angrily :

" Yeah, right, Lillian Rush!

But if i'm allowed to ask one question and don't ya dare not to answer it propperly!

How long , Lil ? How long will ya stay by my side?

Until another one of those loosers shows up ?

Oh, no, i forgot- there's just another one in the picture right now, isn't it! "

She had seen him angry.

She had seen him sad.

But this ... was more than she could ever bear ...

Do not give up this easy, Lil! she heard her own voice as if a little one's sittin' at her left shoulder, as if she needed someones guidance to encourage herself.

Don't ya dare to give up on him!

Something must have had changed between us!

And if that does not already have , then it is about damn time, that it does right now!

"I have no idea what you're talking about, _**Scott **_Valens . "

He tore his hair shakingly, with all ten fingers.

She saw him closin', nearly squeezin' his eyes as if he wanted to lock out the pain

when he hissed at her in a rough, coughin', hard and ill soundin' tone:

"You kissed that Fed ! "


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:**

**Hi, thanks again to oucellogal and little dark starling!**

**You two are awesome, you know that?!**

**And it's a great honor that such geniuses took the time to **

**read and review my story. Can you can see me blush?**

**Anyway... sorry that it took me so long to update.**

**Promise it will be better next time though ;)**

**So in here there will be more and more angst.**

**But don't be afraid- it'll be better, soon :)**

**Hope ya enjoy!**

-7-

Shell shocked Lilly stared at him.

How the hell does he know about it ?

Rapidly the whole walls of the car seemed to close in around her and she felt trapped.

" Scotty. .. " she tried softly, but he interrupted her brusquely.

His eyes spat fire and Lilly could almost feel the flames licking at her, to devour her.

There was so much despair ... ...

" You lied to me!"

Moment ...

" And do not tell me now, that would have been nothing ! "

"But - that's not fair, Scotty! I do not have ...it is not... a lie. "

He had suddenly grabbed her jacket sleeve and she was totally mesmerized

by the pain she saw in his eyes.

„Na, that's just „misinformation" or what do you want to call it

when there's a lack of news about ya person?

Not that the others don't get it- Kat told me about the rumors

somethin's goin' on with you and that Fed ass back in New York-

where you went without me."

She had a sudden feeling not knowing who was sitting next to her.

„You know that it had been an order, Scotty.

Boss had sent me there for Yates interview with their IAD."

„Yeah, just try to hide behind that if you think that fits for you.

But you can't fool me around, Lil.

You stayed there the whole weekend and when you came back..."

She had to keep cool but he didn't made it easy to get her head straight.

„I stayed to solve a case!

That's Woodstock one.

And- although it's non of your buisness-

yeah, i went out with Cavanaugh and yes,

there might be a kiss involved, but it meant nothing when i returned to Philly.

You should know what i'm talkin' 'bout, Valens!

Do i need to remind ya?

All that remains for us is the _Charlenes_..."

He flinched a little uncomfortable in his seat and there's even a faint hint of red on his cheeks.

And what's important: He remained quite.

„And ya noticed? I returned- without any baggage."

This whole „back and forth" thing reminded her of their conversation outside her home

before they left to rescue Chris.

Or that one in the Lobby.

Now it was her time to struggle with the memories and she smirked.

„I did not lie to you, Scotty. I won't. Ever.

Don't be silly.

I know that there are things you have to sort out alone, too.

Family affairs.

And when i offered help you refused it.

You kept me locked out of ya life, too."

He deeply sighed now and it's showin' in the way his shoulders came down a bit

that there must be heavy burden onto them.

„You have no idea, Lil."

( " Maybe I even have my own family to worry about ... did you ever think of that? " )

Where had she been in all these past months?

Lilly suddenly wondered.

She had the feeling that he slipped more and more through her fingers,

like wild water that makes its way violently and eventually disappears out of sight.

Was there anything left in him of the man whom they know and respect, in all these years?

And if so, where could she look out for Scotty, whom she had known ?

How she wished he would let her in!

Or at least tell her something about his sorrows.

So she could bear it with him, together.

As partners.

„Then why wouldn't ya just tell me, Scotty?"

But he shook his head in grim defeat.

„I can't."

His face was completly closed in itself.

There's a hard line in his brows and his fists were clenched again.

He dragged his teeth together that they gave away an aweful noise.

Why can't it be the way it'd been before his mothers case,

the FBI job offer, before the new Chris conflict?

„Scotty, please, i don't want to fight.

All i want is some peace and... new perspectives.

A change from the past, to be happy again.

And i want to be happy with you by my side,

far away from the office's orders and the IAD,

even the team and subspicious looks from people around ous.

Nobody has to know we're in this together-

okay, maybe except our familys.

All i want is an easy way this time in my life."

„Only concealin' the truth again, that's it?

Bravo, Lil , that makes it so much better !

You're right on your heels, aren't you?

Time to chicken out?

Run away when there are things to discuss,

to deal with, here and now? Great.

You want me to be with ya, but for what?

To be a friend of yours? Someone to talk to?

To be whatever you need or wish for?

I'm not one of your cats, Lil."

His voice dripped almost over with sarcasm.

„I do deserve better.

To be just _someone _in your life is not enough anymore."

The mention of the cats was the drop that it took to overload the barrel and Lil fumed:

" Hey, listen,what **I** did not deserve is this behavior of yours, goddammit!

Stop treating me like that!

I intened a cease-fire and you..."

"Oh, we're talkin' about me now

-not you anymore- what a wonder!

Lilly Rush here, her wishes there-

Have you even realize what i was goin' to..."

But she gave him daggers and put her hand hard and fast over his mouth-

before he could even finish the sentence.

He raised his eyebrows at her.

Okay, she won't go there.

No wonder, she's Lilly Rush.

What had he expected her to do?

That it'll be easy to crack her shell?!

Not with her.

She simply did as if she's stupid.

"These bullets are completely unnecessary! "

" You mean, you do not deserve them?"

He threw her a hurtful look of pure disbelief.

„You're such a hypocrite, Lillian Rush! "

Again there's this pain, which is now spread all over his face.

It was, she realized now, rigid as a mask .

Maybe he just tried to protect himself by this tactic -

Attack as the best defense.

She didn't really wanted to argue ... but, but ... he provoked her to do so.

"I'm an adult, I do not need your permission, Scotty, to go out with someone

and i told you that it was not worth to fight about it!"

she said gently, as if to demonstrate how grown up she could be - unlike him!

"This is not someone- it's a Fed ! "

he spat out and sounded so ... jealous...

She gasped , completely outraged.

"So- what?!

I meet whomever I want, Scotty Valens !

I kiss whoever I want! "

she snapped unmistakable.

" You did that stuff all those years yourself.

And i had nothin' to say about it, either.

We both had flings outside work-

We had a deal in Nashville once about them, you remember?

So can we at least come back to our senses, please,

and proclaim that i'm a big girl and make my own decisions

about the man i'm goin' to be with?!"

He sighed.

„Like i said earlier.

You understand nothin'.

'Specially not me or so it seems.

If you would have let me finish that line earlier..."

He sighed and threw both arms in the air, pushed them almost to the car's roof.

Mumbled something she could not understand exactly what she did to him.

Was that a "Maybe you always kiss the wrong guys? "

Was it?

No, she decided perplexed, that had to be a misunderstanding.

He could not have said that.

She had misheard.

Yeah-right.

At last he turned away from her, the street , as if seeking assistance out there,

same way she had done earlier with the view of the house.

But this was her territory.

He noticed probably because Paul had gone to the front door, apparently concerned ,

because his daughter has not entered it yet.

" Wow, okay now. Let's stop this.

That's great. Lil ! Fine for you, fine by me.

You have my blessing. "

Scotty's chin sank suddenly down on his chest and he crossed his arms in mid.

His voice was .. breaking .

" I do not need your confirmation, Scotty. "

Okay, give him the Ice Queen if he beg for it.

" The Feds could not offer the same sort of family you had here- to no one.

Just look at what they have made out of Diane Yates, Lil .

That's not you!

But if ya wish to be someone like that...

I've thought that i know ya better.

They are a bunch of rotten bastards, you know ! "

He spat, still persisting in the same pose.

„Maybe you really don't know me at all, Scotty."

she took a loose blonde strand behind her ear and shrugged her slim shoulders.

„That's pathetic."

"I might not."

But this time he sounded resigned but

as if he wanted to just ask her something else.

„Yeah." she replied just as softly now and glared out the window.

Why run right into the trouble and not the easy way out?

Let him go...

Leave everything, the past, behind?

She remembered one of her favourite songs from

the band Aerosmith which's called „Kiss your past goodbye"...

Maybe she should have made another decision than to come back to Philly.

Start a new life with Ryan in New York...

She had been so close to it ... ...

_Ryan held the door open ._

_He stroked her back gently, as she hugged him goodbye ._

_"I think that- with us- _

_So, I was no' more than a replacement for, ya know, someone else, Lil?... "_

_Lilly looked at the sunset. _

_Up on the roof of the taxi to the airport the light broke in many beautiful bright colors . _

_It would be so easy to leave everything behind, gave a new life a chance,_

_go back and turn on the computer up in his office ._

_But in this very moment, she listened . _

_The taxi driver heard country music._

_She knew it somehow and she realized_

_that she started to think about the events back then._

_Nashville, Tennessee._

_Truck Sugar._

_And with that came all the other memories of Philly, the PPD._

_The important things in her life._

_The really important things. _

_Lucille Honey Sugars face as she told her_

_that Truck wanted to return to her in the end._

_If Honey would have taken him back._

_And suddenly Lilly knew with certainty that New York would not be her new home. _

_Because, as Lucille had told her and Scotty that day back in Knoxville, at her ranch:_

_Home is where the heart is ._

_And her heart was in Philly. _

_Probably just sat at his desk , trying to keep Nick and Kat apart from each others throats._

_She remembered that night in Nashville, the hotel and smiled gently at Ryan ._

_"We're cops , Ryan. All good cops are lone wolves . "_

_She patted Cavanaughs shoulder briefly and with a certainty that surprised herself, she whispered ,_

_when she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek : _

_"But we still had the Charlenes . "_

_And with that she left him and New York, _

_her taxi disappeared in the sunset on the way to the airport._

Sad and simultaneously glad Lilly shook off the memory.

Then she opened her window and called to her dad :

"Everything ok , Dad!

Just forgot my phone and i'm goin' to say goodbye to Scotty here ! "

Paul stopped, uncertain what to do, then offered:

"Please ask him if he wants to come in -

Celeste has once again cooked so much that it would be enough for a whole football team, Lil . "

He pointed at Scotty.

Who had the decency to wave at her father gratefully.

"Sorry, Paul, my parents expect me for dinner. "

Lilly sighed.

" I'll be right there, Dad! "

" Okay, have a good evening, Scotty. Say hello for me to your family! "

Paul waved again and returned to the house .

"He was worried about you, I see. "

Scotty spoke quitely.

Maybe- if there's a chance to...

"Yes, it is beautiful.

Scary, but nice.

To have a family at least. "

she said and suppressed a small smile that had stolen itself in the corners of her lips.

" Chris's there? " he asked politely.

Lilly felt her cheeks began to burn.

"Chris, Scotty? "

He nodded, his dark eyes fixed on the house.

"Had not seen her a while now. Wondering how she's doin'... "

Now she was the one whoes frantically fingers closed around the handle of the car door

until her knuckles were white .

"Oh , look at ya!

You are interested in checking on her?

What- she called ya?!

Cried out loud at ya how hard life as a junkie-Mom is in the rehab ?

That she wants to have you back as her hero in the shinin' armor? "

Lilly's cold voice cracked.

Scotty looked at her in surprise and had the audacity to put a placating hand on her arm.

She had given up this opportunity ... in New York ... because of him .

For the most part , of course .

Of course, because Paul , Celeste and Finn, too .

Because Kat, Nick , Will, and Boss .

But above all , for his sake .

Damn ya, Valens .

It still hurts.

Even after six years .

"You make me reproach, because I have kissed someone of the FBI, whom I never intend to see again, but it's okay if YOU make out with my sister ?"

That silenced him .

Mouth open he seemed to be some kinda'f stunned.

But she could see that it's going to change.

"Not this again , Lil . "

She could not help it.

"Yes, exactly this, Scotty.

At some point we have to talk about it! "

she shot at him, eyes blazin' with icy fire.

"But I apologized , damn it!

Back then and now again !

What do you want from me, Lilly Rush ?

Should I ask for your forgiveness on my knees, that's it?!

Are you so eager to humiliate me? "

If looks were bullets ...

Lilly grabbed her own shoulder, felt the silver scar under her slender fingers.

She still felt as if it was on fire .

She was ashamed of herself.

And the fire in Scotty's eyes devoured her still.

Lilly hissed when she saw the look in his eyes.

She could not be burned.

Not again .

Not with him.

That was important .

She never wanted to hurt him .

She was only defendin' herself, damn it!

And that was just ... survival instinct.

"This New York trip has absolutely nothing to do with you, Scotty. "

she breathed softly now.

Saw how he pressed his lips into a thin line together, chin stretch out belligerently .

But then his brave facade suddenly collapsed.

"Sure thing, Lil. Of course, that has absolutely nothing to do with me .

I think Ryan makes me so mad just because of the same reason

why you still haven't come over my encounter with Chris.

Did ya ever think of that? "

No!

It led to thoughts, feelings and wishes that were too dangerous for the both of them.

Unsafe terrain.

Traps.

Yeah, she loved him.

But... changin' into something more as it is now?

And so fast? She'd even realized her true feelings now...

She would not survive it if he'll leave her.

Not with him.

She felt her whole body started to tremble and couldn't breath any longer.

She whispered around the lump in her throat horasely:

"I can't , Scotty.

I'm sorry... but... i can't do this...

conversation... anylonger! "

She opened the door and rushed formally out of the car towards the house.

Her feet began to run on their own accord.

Then she suddenly felt a steely grip around her waist which's turnin' her around.

" You have to, Lil .

You'll have to try at least. "

She squirmed in his arms, but he also did and turned her around to him, against her resistance.

But there was no reason to fear him.

At least not a rational one.

Nevertheless, her heart raced in her chest .

" You owe me, after everything I 've done for you . "

She lowered her eyes guiltily and suddenly fought the tears that burned behind her eyes.

„And i'm not talkin' about work or Chris or so..."

Then she felt the touch of his hand, warm and gentle on her chin and he lifted it

so that she had to look at him now.

"I beg ya, Lil.

And I'll ask only once... Lilly. "

His voice was so...different.

Smooth.

Touchin'.

The way he'd said her name-

she could swear he never did it that way before.

Lil stood there-

completely frozen , though a little voice cried louder and louder to simply drop into his arms.

To let her head fall to his chest and to forget everything around herself ...

Just to forget the world- here in his arms.

" Look at me, Lil . "

" Scotty ... "

a faint sob escaped her and she was shaking all over now.

Warm arms were wrapped around her and pulled her a little wildly at him.

"Don't ya ever run away from me again,Lil, 'kay...? "

His index finger was suddenly on her lips and he shook his head ,

like to emphasize what has been said.

And then his face came closer.

Closer and closer .

And she could not move.

Would i?

She asked herself.

Or do i want this to happen - as bad as he?!

Her breath hitched as the tip of their noses touched

and she could feel his breath on her cheek bone.

She closed her eyes expectantly.

And...

Waited .

What was that?

A tingling and warm glow spread through her.

Anticipation ?

Shouldn't her knees be shakin' out of fear?

But nothing like that happened and she rejoiced inwardly -

she had no fear of being kissed!

And then...

Just a touch of his lips on hers.

Warm and soft.

They felt...

Some kinda like the sun ...

like heaven.

This felt so damn...

Right.

But then-

Nothing happened.

Confused, she opened her eyes again .

And the sound of leavin' footsteps and a crashin' car door come to her ears.

The engine's turned up.

And she saw all her hopes drove away in the fading light.

„Who's the hypocrite, now, Valens?!

With ya, runnin' as fast as ya could?"

she sobbed quitely and tried to wipe away the heavy tears but they ran freely down her cheeks

as Lilly felt her knees finally gave away now, they slumped under her weight.

All out of the sudden she sat on the grass.

Cryin' her heart out.

She never thought of herself bein' a sniveler.

Well, if that man doesn't bring out the best in her...

With great effort, she finally got to her feet and staggered to the house.

Finn came to meet her and took her into his arms.

Quiet sniffling she leaned against her little brother .

"What was that ?"

He snorted indignant and manifested so that everyone must have watched.

Shame burned up in Lilly.

"I wish I knew. "

she desperatly swallowed, fighting for self-control.

"Should I punch him for ya , Sis ?!

I'll do it, honestly! "

Lilly could not help it , she laughed through her tears at Finn.

"Thank you , little brother.

But i think Dad wouldn't want me to get ya back in jail so soon

and i'm not sure if i can do anything for you when i wish it was me

who had gave him the make-over!

But I can lean on my own fightin' skills if that's necessary.

Or, if that doesn't help... i have a gun.

Nobody lies to girl with a gun.

So i'm goin' to kick his ass myself.

Next time i'll see him..."

Lilly couldn't talk any longer because she realized that there's

a chance that's not so small... that there won't be a chance for revenge.

Now the tears are comin' more frequently.

As they reached the door, Celeste, who'd waited inside,

took her comfortingly into her arms and pulled the door closed behind them .


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:**

**Hi there!**

**So i promised it won't be too long until the next one, so here ya get it!**

**I had to „solve" the Mota case before Lil went to Tennessee,**

**so this is my own „version" of the fate of these unholy events.**

**Not mine, though, you know.**

**Song i'd like to hear to that: **

**This Kiss by Faith Hill**

/OM3J8AdRBZA

**Thanks again to my dearest friends out there, oucellogal and little dark starling!**

- Chapter Eight:

The truth is...-

The shower roared .

Hot water ran over his head, but it didn't help to wash away the agony ...

What had gotten into him?

How could he ?

Which of them both was emotionally unstable?

Skies , Lilly had applied so great courage to confront him with her feelings,

had literally fell into his arms ...

and he ... totally freaked out.

And just run away .

He was the greatest coward on earth.

Jeez ...

Still, his heart began to race when he thought about it.

It was beating so fast that it was almost already painful

and he wondered if he would get a heart attack.

After all, if I 'm going to die, I had kissed her.

Scotty groaned .

Hey, I 'm going to die BECAUSE I kissed her -

either , she'll shoot me or I'll sink into the ground because of the shame i fled.

No matter how you look at it and turn it, it couldn't end well for him.

" Scott, mi angel , how long do you need in there yet ? The tortilla de patatas is cold! "

called his mother at this moment and, shaking his head for clearence,

he grabbed a towel.

When he came out into the garden to the table,

the moon had just risen , and the lanterns shone like they wanted to bet with it about their brightness.

Next to the grill were his father Ramiro and Mike with Allie and Emilio, the more or

less patiently waiting for their dinner, the family barbecue.

His Ma was cutting the tortilla and gave him a long, kindly look.

" Ah, mio, ya made it, finally! "

She stretched out her arms to him and pulled him inside .

" ! Mom, por favor ," he pleaded half-heartedly and couldn't help it :

He saw the man's face in front of him, pale, blood on the tiles, mixed with the water from the shower ...

His hands were shaking and he brought them laboriously under control.

" Scotty , what's wrong? "

The dark eyes of his Ma studied his face and redness shot in his cheeks.

Her hands clutched his left forearm and pulled him into a quieter corner.

" I can see that something must be wrong , mi chiquillo ! "

She smiled knowingly. "Is it because of a seniorita ? "

God , Ma, if you knew .

" Si, Mamita . Un dia es un dia. "

It was the easiest excuse and only partly a lie.

Scotty wondered when lying was taken for granted .

"Well, Scott Valens ... you can't fool your mother, isn't it so? "

He squinted both eyes, leaned against the wall for help .

Rosa Valens might can be a Detective as well as he is himself.

He must inherited his talents from anyone in the family, didn't he?!

Well, so it was time for confessions.

" He's dead , Ma. "

About the way how she winced, Scotty realized that she knew exactly who he was talking 'bout.

She raised her hand reflexively to her throat and anger surged up in him .

Had Mota choked her, while ...

No, he could not follow this thought.

Then it would tear him up inside .

Burn him alive.

His mothers strong hands were shaking and she cast a quick,

hunted look to the happily together seated family.

" Murdered . While in prison . "

"I-, Scotty , I can not say that I'm sorry . "

She swallowed hard and it was almost killing him to see her so lost.

"Well , but , I pray for this lost soul and that God proves mercy to it. "

His mother, the good catholic soul, crossed herself quickly and exhaled slowly .

"Then it is now finally over, ya understand that, Scotty? "

Her English was hard, much harder than anything in their native language might have been.

"No , Mama , no "

The stone wall was cool against his forehead, where he's desperately pressed against it .

"But Scotty - the bastard is dead! "

Now he thought he heard almost tremulous joy in her voice.

But there was no reason to celebrate.

"I 'm going to lose my job. "

A shake on his shoulder forced him to turn to face her.

She lifted his chin like a two year old, sudden concern about him in her eyes.

" What have you done, Scotty Valens ? Do you have anything to do with it , son? "

Flames stood in her eyes - his eyes, copied from her face onto his own.

And she pushed aside her pain - because of him, for his sake .

"I didn't kill him , Mamita.

I was in jail with him.

I asked Hector for a favor.

He should ... take care of him . "

" Hector Cruz ?" Rosa whispered stunned and bowed her head.

" Oh Scotty. You should not have done that ! "

"I know, Ma. But I couldn't allow that this guy comes out on parole after only two years!

Not after what he did to you and Belen and all the other women, damn it! "

Scotty made a fist and slammed it against the wall .

" And Hector supposed that my visit should brand him.

Make an outlaw out of him.

All inmates thought he was a police spy . "

Rosa gasped in horror.

His brother and his father looked worried over to them,

but Rosa waved at them, though with a tormented smile on her beautiful face.

"Todo es bueno ! "

And then she turned to him : " Scott, you have to learn to curb your temper!"

Scotty was starin' stunned at his mother, who struggled to maintain her composure,

then consolin' stroked one of his cheeks.

"This visit and the talk with Hector was stupid.

But you've already done a lot of stupid things

and Lieutenant Stillmann always found a way to save your pretty little ass, young man.

And now ? "

Furious, he shook off her caresses and felt the guilt that nearly pressed down his shoulders to the ground.

She did not understand.

The implications of his decisions in these recent weeks.

And he hadn't even talk about that thing with Christina and the baby in concrete -

only that Lilly's sister had asked him to be godfather.

However, his parents didn't know about the previous connection to the sister of his partner

and mentioned his rather good contact with Lilly Rush as responsible for this fact.

Yes, even a Scotty Valens has his secrets.

Not only Lilly Rush could hide things from people who were close to her.

"It was not Hector . "

Rosa breathed freed and said softly : " Then you didn't do anything , mi tesoro. "

" Boss has of course accepted the case.

He suspended me as a precaution ,

Piercon has advised him to keep me out of sight.

He has ... Will Jeffries has found out that Mota was plannin' to abuse another man in jail.

This is what the other inmates got pointed and " interrogated " him.

The potential victim stabbed Mota, out of fear of revenge by Mota 's gang.

If Mota had found out that Ramirez has told the others for his own saftey.

Ramirez thought there were enough suspects - including me -

to get away with it. He has the authorities given my name, Ma. "

There were tears in his mother's eyes .

" But you are innocent , mi corazon ! "

Scotty bowed his head in denial .

"No, Ma .

I've admitted it , that my anger and my hatred have gained the upper hand

and let myself be carried away to this stupidity with Hector and the visit to the exhibition grounds. "

" But you are not to blame for his death , Scotty. "

She saw how much her son's sufferin'.

" At least not directly . But I feel guilty , Ma. "

Her fingers went in soothing circles over his back.

"It will be all right again . "

Scotty sank formally into her outstretched arms and his shoulders shook under them.

" Shhh , mi corazon . Es un problema de dificil solucion . "

She kissed his teary cheeks.

"But nothing is impossible , Honey . "

She smiled at him lovingly and yet recognized that his eyes were narrowed.

" Oh Ma . "

"Oh , Scotty Valens .

You are so incredibly stubborn.

Just like your father .

Even when it comes to push yourself over the edge for something others had done. "

She squeezed him a little more in and whispered into her youngest son 's ear:

"It took ya so long to process Elissas sudden death.

You had a bad conscience about Mike because of this Coach Fitzpatrick case.

You've felt guilty as a child because you couldn't help him.

But you can not save everything and everyone, Scotty.

Even if you try it again and again.

You have a heart, a way too big, if they said so, i think... "

She squeezed his shoulder.

"You must begin to think of yourself."

Rosa only heard a soft sigh.

"And the suspension ? When will that will be canceled again ? "

She wanted to finally know encouragingly after a few moments of a silent embrace.

" Stillman has suspended me for three months."

"This is not so long,sweetheart.

You'll see the time flies by and then you are on the streets again, with Detective Rush!

And let this be said to you by your mother : I know you.

Maybe better as you think it's possible !

You have to forgive yourself, Honey.

Than it'll be gettin' better an' better.

Make your peace with God, my son.

Our Lord will forgive you and a time of penance and prayer will give your soul relief.

Maybe a break from this busy work is not such a bad way.

A way to heal, mi hijo. "

Scotty's sniffling like a little boy.

His own words to Lilly, addressed only now to himself.

What an irony of fate !

" I'm trying, Ma.

This morning I started doing the same and have asked for my transfer.

Boss could put me in Special Operations . "

Rosa looked at him incredulously.

" But you love but your work in Homicide ! "

" And that is exactly my problem.

I... love not only the work there, Ma."

Scotty sighed deeply.

„No, I still have a greater stupidity committed than before

and that is the worst of all, i think:

I'd be so stupid!

Falling in love with my partner, Ma -

Of all women in this world, it must be Detective Lillian Rush!

The Ice Queen of Homicide -

the only person on this planet I am not allowed to fall in love with!

And now I'll probably lose her-

forever. "

The smell of maple syrup suddenly rose to his nostrils.

Emilio loved Spanish food, but he always eat his pancakes for dessert with this sticky stuff.

Lilly.

Scotty had always wondered what the scent of her skin reminded him of -

and suddenly, unstoppable, he knew it – maple syrup.

Sweet .

Irresistible .

Addictive .

And with a force that almost knocked him off his feet,

the memory of the afternoon came back to him.

About the dispute.

The words.

The kiss.

Dear God... this kiss.

And the pain now, to realize that the option was there,

to be with her, a common future within reach, was almost unbearable .

Because he knew if he actually leave homicide, accept his guilt,

then there would be no more common ground for the both of them.

And she was mad at him .

Of course she was!

She had all rights to be mad.

And she would be more so if...

If he would tell her the truth about Mota .

So... he couldn't be properly unhappy about the suspension.

Because it offered him a way to escape.

An excuse to sold his place and to flee.

Because he couldn't stand before her as the loser he was- in her eyes.

He had previously been disappointed.

If he would've been her.

She was dissapointed at him once.

About her sister.

The expression of her eyes at that time didn't let go of him.

He shivered.

No, he couldn't risk losing even more prestige.

Because he had been disappointed with himself and his impossible reaction earlier.

Scotty buried his face even deeper into the shirt of his mother.

This time with more and more shame.

Yes, she must have been terribly disappointed by his neurasthenia ,

his lack of self-control, at the painful realization

that he wouldn't play a role in the future of her life.

With this kiss...

He could only hope that she would forgive him his weakness- one day in the future.

"Mi hijo , do not cry , do not despair . "

Rosa patted him reassuringly between the shoulder blades .

"Let me guess!

You've pressured to put her an ultimatum

and accused things at her that were unfair,

given by the fact that you were actually just to afraid, too much a chicken, to confess to her.

The fact that you love her.

And then you ran away without explanation.

Without tellin' her your true motives

because you could not undermine your damned pride.

Because you fear for the preservation of your inner protective walls and your independence

and your integrity ...

Do i got straight to point, Scotty Valens?"

She pushed him with a wise face at arm 's length.

He remained silent, jaw open, gaspin' like an idiot.

How ... ?

"But , Ma , how can you .. "

" I'll give you a good tip now, Scotty Valens! And i'll only give it once!

Be a real man, stand up for what makes you- you.

And as I have learned over the last almost eight years, you are this person,

because of a very special young woman, who owed the credits for this change in your life!

From this very day you saw her, lay eyes on her, for the first time in that observation room. "

Irritated Scotty gulped for air.

"Yes, son- sometimes mothers know more than you young guys credited them.

I want you now to know something, too , young man:

I have ears , and I have listened to you , if you talk about her.

And with her on the phone.

The soft tone that creeps up in your voice when you two speak about somethin'.

Or when you're talkin' here about your job and her.

And I have eyes that see the light in your eyes when you do it, i can see that

smile that's playin' in the corners of that mouth of yours.

And I have a heart that loves you and therefore knew long before yourself,

how you feel about this lady, this Lilly Rush. "

He pulled up both eyebrows questioningly, but felt that his mouth twisted into a small smile,

which his mother, now lookin' very seriously, just mentioned.

"You see , mi querido ? That's what I mean!

No other person I 've met in recent years, not since Elissa,

put on that sorta'f smile on the face of my son. "

She wiped his cheekbones both with the back of her blouse,

wipin' away the remnants of tears from his face.

Then she pulled him back closer to his relatives and stated softly:

"And now you're goin' to tell your family about her! "

He couldn't help it - he put a loving arm around the shoulders of his Mum

and registered satisfy the good-natured and relieved expression on his father's face,

as they both came back to the heart of the group.

He took a deep breath ... and confessed what had happened .

Finally, all members of his family were sitting in a circle around him

and listened intently to his descriptions and Scotty realized almost glad it was not embarrassing him,

to talk about his feelings for Lilly with them.

Later, when he had finished, he saw that Emilio and Riccardo, the new Valens baby, had fallen asleep on the lap of their parents

and that Mike and Allie sat side by side holding hands, Mike's jacket securely wiped around his wife and their children.

His Dad and his Ma , however, exchanged conspiratorial , knowing glances with each other.

" Yes , my love , that you sounds vaguely familiar , doesn't it ? "

Rosa was teasing her husband and Scotty saw the first time in his life that his father blushed

in all seriousness from head to toe, to the thinning hair tips.

" Si , mi querida , si . "

Ramiro put a gently but firmly hand on Scottys shoulder and added with a grin :

" Fatherly advice, Scotty : The women with issues are the ones worth fighting for!

Those are the ones who'll make you happy your whole life. "

Rosa smiled because her husband winked at her obviously.

Scotty looked appraisingly between his parents back and forth,

a wave of affection and anticipation suddenly shot through him.

Ramiro added:

"And now-

Tell me again- what are you doing here?!

And why don't you already bring your bags to the airport-

when the woman- the one you love more than life itself-

has confessed to you that she really, truly was not intrested in any other man!

And has asked you... what is it called like?

How will a cowboy, down there, in Nashville, Tennessee, call it:

What keeps you here and why you're not there- ridin' off into the sunset with her? "

Scottys heart beat insanely fast in his chest now

and he kissed his two parents, laughing out loud, onto the forehead,

hugged his brother and his sister in law, kissin' the sleepin' children goodbye ...

Before he ran upstairs to his already packed baggage which he brought with him

for staying with his family the whole weekend

and now he picked it up,

smashed it into his car and started the engine enthusiastic.

He hoped he'll make it to the airport in time!

**AN:**

**Hi!**

**Hope ya enjoyed the trip so far- **

**and now i fear that our poor Scotty will have to endure more angst than ever-**

**because of his fear of flyin'. But what a man wouldn't risk for the love of his life?!**

**Oucellogal- you noticed the issue thing, don't ya?**

**I told ya- it was one year since i wrote this...**

**seems to be our similar spirit :))**

**C ya!**

**Please don't forget the „Review" Button ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN:**

**Hi! **

**I'm the one for the „family matters", right? **

**And now we're goin' to meet someone really „special" to me!**

**Hope ya enjoy, and, as always, my thanx goes to my dearest readers **

**and the ones who are that kind to review: oucellogal and little dark!**

Chapter 9

_- Timeline: Present: At the airport-_

„I'd really like to thank you, that you're willing to take me with you, Lils."

Elizabeth pushed her- way too heavy- bagage down the gangway and took off her  
elegant white hat with the big brim, circled it in her hands with the delicate white gloves.

Her- way too big- sunglasses protected her dark green eyes from the afternoon sun.  
These dark green, jungle like eyes peeked around and gave everyone  
a fast „Manhattan examination" from head to toe.

Her makeup was perfect- compared to the high heels with red sole- Louboutins-  
Lilly had learned about them half the way down to the airport today.  
Not that she didn't heard that name before... but she was never really intrested in fashion...

It was as clear as the clear blue sky outside that her sister was.

Lilly couldn't help but smirked.

The aura that surrounded her sister gave her the expression of a hollywoodstar from the late fiftys.

Lilly felt as if in the scene of the movie „Titanic" when you see Kate Winslet alias Rose DeWitt Bukater for the very first time at the harbor of Southhampton.

Her halfsister was at least as beautiful and distinguished as this young lady or the actress.

Elizabeth's hair was of a dark brown, with hints of chesnut, a glossy, auburn hair.  
The thick strands had been tied to a rigourous high hairstyle and her perfect styled clothes  
reminded Lilly of another character named Blair Waldorf of a soap she once zapped through named „gossip girl"

(to be honest- Elizabeth and the actress, Leighton Meester, could have been twins...)

or this other one...Charlotte from „Sex and the City".

The only thing that these two sisters seemed to have in common was the fact that their  
skin was the pale and alabaster like as if they're one of those vampires in the „Twighlight"- movies.

Apart from that they could have been complete strangers-  
the one lookin' some kinda snow white, the other with her blond hair and blue eyes  
even a lot more like some kinda cinderella.

But both of them surrounded that aura of magic...  
So maybe that was not the worstest comparisation.

_Flashback_

_Timeline: Past: At Lillys House, before the flight-_

Lilly answered the door, preventin' just in time that Oliv and Tripod could've escape out into the dark.

A real beauty stood at her steps and by her smile Lilly could tell that she was really sure of herself.

She was wearing an expensive lookin' tailored pink custom and deadly high heels with red soles.

„Hi, you'd have to be Lilly!  
I'm allowed to call you that, don't i? I'm your sister at least! Just half-sister, but who cares?!  
That have to be worth something and i always wished i could have a sister that i can call pet- names with!"

The young lady took one of Lillys hands into her own and squeezed it with her leather gloves.  
Then she entered Lils appartment as if that was something quite naturally.

Lil was stunned and she realized that she was gaspin' a little openmouthed.

Her visitor walked up and down her home- her castle!-and threw expectant looks around  
as if it was some kind of hotel room and this an inspection.

Finally, she turned a perfectly shaped pirouette around herself and  
bared a whole series of gleaming white teeth in her perfect shaped mouth, the red lips,  
with whom she could have turned into a model for bleechin'.

Who's this supermodel and what does she want here?

„Really... nice place to life for... not quite my taste, but nice.  
Finn told me you've got a house downtown but he forgot to mention that you might use the help  
of a helpin hand! I know a perfect interior designer, trust me-  
we will make this a castle by just one blink!"

Lillys thoughts rambeled around her brain.

There it was- the missin' connection- a photo on the mantelshafe of her stepmother Celeste.

_- Timeline: Past, At the Coopers, before our story takes place-_

„Who's this, Celeste?" Lilly asked and carfully took the ebony picture frame  
which's showing a pretty young woman who's lookin' like snow white.

„Oh, sure, Lil, how could i forgot to show it to you?!

This is a picture of your younger half sister Elizabeth Margery.

She's known as „Maggie" to everyone, even your father used to call her that."

Lilly coughed.

„She's gorgeous."

Celeste was laughin' out loud.

„That's an understatement, sweetheart.

But please don't tell her- she's big headed enough with her looks...

don't know where the maroon hair and the dark green eyes come from-

maybe from my mothers side, her gran'ma,  
but i suppose that this pale skin colour's definatly a Paul Cooper thing."

Celeste cupped Lillys cheeks with both of her hands and gave her a heartwarmin' smile.

„But i don't mind, really!  
Now i have three beautiful young daughters and two big heads for husband and son."

Her stepmother sighed a content little sigh.

"Lucky me."

„What's her job?" Lilly asked curiosly when Celeste left for the kitchen and looked up and down the foto again. Then she put it back to where it belonged.

She got herself a chair and took the place of hers on the table.  
She's used to come down to dinner every friday evening now.

„Oh- she's a law student." Celeste answered in a causual tone.  
„At the Harvard university."

Lilly nearly fall of the chair.

„Harvard?" she cheeped like a little bird.  
That was all she was capable of at the moment.

„Jep."  
was all she could get from her stepmother in the kitchen.  
Celeste spoke with such sureness as if that's the most normal thing in the world  
that her little sister visits some of the most famous universitys of the whole country,  
if not the world.

„Sometimes she works as a volunteer for the juvenil court and  
wrote an article for the Harvard Chronicle about her work.  
She likes to photograph and has already published an article  
for the Times."  
Celestes proud voice flew over to her from the kitchen.

„The Times.  
Like in „The New York Times"?!"

Lillys own voice was barely a whisper.

„Yeah, that one."

Celeste entered the dinin' room with the dishes at hand.

„Can you please help me to set the table, Lilly, Honey?  
Your dad and Finn will arrive a little bit late... as usually.  
But we will left the them the washin' up part, don't we?"

"Nice to hear that this pretty little head has so much brain in it."  
Lilly muttered, feeling her cheeks began to burn.

„What did you said, sweetheart?"

Celeste looked at her suspiciously from the doorframe of the living room.

„Nothin'!" Lilly said hastily.

_End of Flashback_

And that's what's happenin' three months ago.

_Timeline: Past, in Lillys House, again-_

Now the lady in the hall of Lillys home threw a finely coiffed auburn curl behind the right ear and grinned winning but almost condescending." Here's my card . I'll take pictures of your home and give them to a dear friend of mine. He studied interior design.

And his friend , well you know, like in „boy-"friend ... is a furniture designer.

I don't want to indicate, but yes, I'm definitely the right woman for this job! "

Amazed, Lilly took the noble cherry -colored business card and turned herin the hands in disbelief

before she wiped away the sweat from her forehead from movin' the furniture and packin' for Tennesee.

She thought of the chaos one floor higher :

Her stuff's spread around everywhere, her suitcase was still unruly strand of hair fell into her face and she blew it up,_  
_as she registered a bell-like laughter.

"Oh, guess i forgot to introduce myself! Elizabeth Margery Cooper, your sister. "

And all of a sudden this dark green eyes narrowed until they are nearly slits.

"But you 're welcome to call me „Maggie" or Mag... Lil , right ?_  
_Or ... wait, that sounds so stupid !

I bet every a** call you that._  
_No, I need something of our own :_  
_You don't mind if I call you Lils, don't ya?_  
_That would be so cool! "

And before the astonished Lilly Rush was aware of it,

this sinister being on high heels stalked up the stairs and almost shrieked :_  
_

" Oh my God, how does it look like in here!_  
_No, you can't IMPOSSIBLE want to take these clothes with you on your holidays, Lils!_  
_What were you thinkin'?

Were you even thinkin' about how your clothes impress the people around ya?

You have to make a mence, Lil!_  
_It's at least my image to fight for when we have to be sisters from now on!_  
_So i will go through this chaos of yours and you...

You might want to take a bath-_  
_you're sweatin', Honey!"

And a little noise later:

_„_But ya know-I already love you."

Elizabeth smirked.

_„_You...pretty little- skunk..."

One of Lillys favorite blouses landed on Tripods left ear and the cat hissed in protest._  
_Low murmurs blew above Lillys head like a hurricane in the spring.

_„_No, that's UNACCEPTABLE!

I can see now- we have to spend the rest of the afternoon here._  
_To go through..."

Elizabeth picked up a tank top and wrinkeled her nose

as if the top in her firm grip was something aweful.

_„_This."

A blue Jeans followed the blouse and Lilly caught it just in time

before Oliv could have been hit by it and the white cat hide behind the garment,

before the kitten also disappeared, bargain, glaring sullen and offended

out of one eye at her half sister._  
_

Oliv was „hidin' herself from the devil" underneath save haven- the sofa.

_„_'kay, well , that's a really tough one, Lils.

But it's definitely a lot more fun if we just go shopping in Nashville for you!

Oh, this is simply fantastic!

I 've always wanted a shopping trip with my sister_  
_and now i'll get the chance to overtook whole Nashville, Tennessee with ya!"


	10. Chapter 10

**AN:**

**Hi there!**

**Thank you so much for the reviews, little dark and LittleTurtle88 (what a cute nickname!)**

**And- like you requested-**

**On with the show!**

**Hope ya enjoy!**

**This will be a little bit of short fun ;) **

**Please R&R, thanks for watchin'!**

-10-

_-sometimes you have to meet strange people_

_to realize_

_-that strangers aren't that far away from yourself-_

" Izzie , this really isn't helpful at all! "

Her sister , who had claimed the nickname " Izzie " for herself now

ran around her in circles like a dramatically blown out and startled chicken.

So... it's „Izzie" to her now. Lilly thought with a smirk on her face.

Lizzie would have been somehow confusing- with Lil and Lizzie ...

If she had to call herself „Lils" , then yes , it was the least one small piece

that Lilly could have her own nickname for Elizabeth, too.

And the name pleased her sister.

What was of considerable importance and something Lilly really learned quickly about her...

It was like a nonverbal „task" and complete natrualness

that Izzie would be her companionship for her trip to Tennessee- in Izzies eyes.

Not that the young lady would've waste any time to ask Lil about that matter...

Secretly Lilly wondered if not, too, at least at a small extent,

Celeste had her fingers in the game.

Because this genius masterplan and unexpected move reminded Lilly

so much of someone with a nice but commandin' voice who protested

not such a long time ago:

„_What are you waitin' for?_

_You stood me up four times for dinner._

_At least what you can do is try my lemon chicken!_

_Come on, let's go!"_

Good old Celeste...

Lilly smiled at the memory.

Yeah, Lilly and her car... outside the Coopers...

Seems to be a never endin' story these days...

But she couldn't have done otherwise now:

With Izzie...

(who's fifty percent Celeste and Paul Cooper- what a force!)

She haven't something, no, anything to say- to any matter-

from now on.

But what was really remarkable about this topic

was that it's the pure contrary than what she thought it would be like... to be „outvoted"-

what she will be feelin' in that case...

Because it was a **nice** change,

some kinda'f new sense that someone from the family's worried about her welfare.

So does Celeste...

and all Lilly could hope for was that this were Izzies real intentions, too.

She suddenly smiled, despite the tense nerves that she always had before each flight.

Lilly pushed her sister down the gangway of the plane and threw an annoyed glance

to the stream of the other passengers behind and in front of them .

They had agreed that Lil was allowed to take a few of her "old" stuff with her in a suitcase

and that Elizabeth- after arriving in Nashville, where they both would be picked up by Lucille-,

would insert a leisurely afternoon of shopping

before she followed her older sister and Lillys friend to the ranch at Knoxville.

Though...Lilly felt a little uncomfortable at the thought

that someone, a person other than herself , would do a make over,

a selection in her wardrobe...

But her sister could be very persuasive if she wanted.

And as if she, Lilly Rush, would came up with the idea of wanting a verbal confrontation with the future ADA Elizabetht Margery Cooper!

Lil had never met anyone who was able to confess and proclaim his opinion as Izzie's capable of.

Cynics would have claimed that it may lay in the family gen pool...

Lilly sighed and stumbled over Izzie's hatbox ,

which had sailed down from the trunk of her sister,

and now lay in the middle of the gangway.

Behind her, disgruntled voices were heard .

" Sorry! "

Lilly's forehead hit the brim of a large white cowboy hat,

and behind it big brown eyes that almost looked amused were scannin' her.

For a brief moment Lil held her breath .

" No , Seniorita, that's my fault ! "

The man under the hat reached for Izzies white hat and his fantastic Stetson cattleman,

since they had slipped in the collision off of his head and down her suitecase,

as he had bent after the hatbox to help Lil .

She sat up slowly and looked intensly from a short distance at him.

Before her, Izzie was reversed and now came up to both of them,

her eyebrows drawn together skeptically .

" Lils ?"

Her voice sounded a bit alerted.

Lilly finally smiled.

"Everything's okay, Izzie . "

Lilly shook the outstreched right hand of the handsome young man and added :

"I already know that Cowboy . "

Izzie had arrived at them and Lilly watched as the dark green eyes widened ever so slightly .

It was funny , she could say with the certainty of a sleepwalker

that Izzie felt attracted to this gentlemen!

Lilly wondered where this knowledge might come from,

although she knew this sparkle of intrest in the eyes of her sister for only a few hours...

It seemed as if she's able to read Izzies expression, as if it's an open book.

Though Izzie's face betrayed the outsider because nothing of that sudden feeling

was showin' on it and she smiled politly at him..

a smile, that seemed to be friendly,

but was distant and cool at the same time.

The younger of the Rush sisters stretched her spine and lifted her chin up as good as possible

without comin' in danger to look grim.

This look could have let hell freeze to ice in a few seconds.

Lilly couldn't help it - a giggle rose up in her

and immediately the disapproving look on her sisters beautiful face

was on her now!

_So this is my "Ice Queen stare". _

_It is understandable that the people really feel uncomfortable with it !_

Lilly thought gigglin' inside.

Maybe there was actually a reason for their loyalty .

Lilly grinned.

She decided to gave Izzie a few informations about him

without shootin' against the man out off guard

because of _too much_ information...

that would be unfair and even forbidden for her...

like his time as a junkie...

And she had to admit that she'd always liked him.

His way to deal with his past, his failures, his honesty.

And for what he made out of his life,

in contrast to someone like her Ma.

He'd givin' back the good he was given once

by the star jockey and fatherly friend Sonny Sandoval,

the victim of this case.

" Izzie-

May I introduce... Senor Angelo Rivera.

I..have the pleasure...with Mister Rivera durin' a case at a racecourse.

He has a good hand with horses and kids, if i remember correctly!

And you were a successful jockey once, aren't you?

Mr. Rivera- This is my sister:

Miss Elizabeth Cooper. "

The young man from Mexico lightly tapped the brim of his hat and bowed slightly,

as it was usual for the old way of treatin' a lady, back in the golden days when the cowboys

in the times of wild wild west were more than just a fadin' memory of something long gone...

" I am delighted to make your acquaintance , Miss Cooper.

Detective Rush! I am pleased of course to see you again, too !

How do I deserve such a honor? To meet two lovely Senioritas like the two of ya at once ? "

The sisters threw him a look of pure amusement and both started to giggle at the same time

at his colourful encircled voice and grateful words,

presented by him as if he was talkin'

to them as if he's in the late 1880s.

„Thank you for your kind words, my friend, it's our pleasure to meet you!"

Izzie tried to suppress laughin' out loud and ellbowed Lilly.

**AN:**

**By the way...**

**To Little Turtle 88! **

**I wish i could answer your kind words with a private message, **

**so now i have to make it up to here to thank you for leavin' your thoughts!**

**I'm always thankful for a new member to the review front**

**(and that's the moment i call ourselfs the „Lucky Ones" from now on!)**

**And don't be afraid- you're english's very well!**

**And if anyone can understand and ignore mistakes in gramma or **

**somethin' like that- that's me!**

**I'm from Germany :)**

**Greets from over here**

**Imsoproud**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:**

**Hi!**

**Thank you so much for the reviews, Zundra, oucellogal, little dark and little Turtle!**

**So, here we go, though i fear you all will have to be at least a little more patient **

**with me, until we will lift the secret if Scotty will make it to the aircraft in time!**

**I know i'm evil :)**

**But there are some things which have to be declared for the **

**next chapters of this story because if not, we won't understand **

**the context ;)**

Song: Christina Perri feat. Steve Kazee, 

A thousand years p.2

_-Meeting new friends, memories flood my mind-_

-11-

"We are on our way to Knoxville ,

we'll visit a friend of mine , Mr. Rivera. "

Lil replied with a smile and the small group went back on the road to get into the aircraft.

Izzie threw the young man next to them furtive glances.

Lilly did not think that her younger sister could be a shy Bambi ,

because this seemed to disagree to her natural disposition.

" Once you know our reasons now , can we find out yours now?"

was the question she threw at him, sounding a little impatient.

" Oh, Miss Elizabeth , I 'm starting a new life! I am very excited -

I have accepted a new job as a foreman on a ranch for Quater - Horses - breeding. "

Angelo replied and gave Izzie a crooked grin , his white teeth flashed .

" And please, Miss Elizabeth , you must call me Angelo. "

Blushing Iz hid her face under her big hat , which she had as a precaution put on again.

" I'd like to ... Angelo.

If you don't mind to no longer to respond to me in the future with Miss Elizabeth-

I feel like a fat old English governess when you did that. "

"In the future , Ma'am ? Then I'll see you again , Miss - sorry , Elizabeth,

when we will leave this plane? Nothing would make a man more happy ! "

he teased with a smirk.

Izzie rolled her dark green eyes.

Ouch... seemed this was a little over the edge, even for Izzie.

The cabin door came into view and almost volatile Rivera grabbed Izzie's elbow

to assist her for boarding - which would not have been necessary at all,

as Lilly noted with amusement.

"Ya flirt around with me, Angelo ?"

Izzie asked, who had apparently regained her sovereignty.

„Don't go there- it might be dangerous."

"Something that raw frozen I would never dare in your presence , Ma'am. "

He pulled down the white cowboy hat and bowed to her .

Izzie shocked back a giggle.

This was ridiculous- but fun.

_My God, Iz , you need to stop reacting so obvious !_

Lilly cleared her throat and reached it as to draw the attention of both back on herself .

Then she looked nervously over to the personnel on board.

No one of them seemed to make a move to ask the passengers for bucklin' up themselves.

" You mentioned your new job , Angelo.

I'm assuming that I'm allowed now to call you the same way, as Iz is, so maybe - "

Lilly thought , trying to meander herself around a fat tourist,

who happened to be in conversation with a flight attendant ,

as he refused to stow in his fake Western guitar into the overhead bin above their heads.

"You're certainally not talking about the Sugar Creek Farm in Knoxville , right?"

Lil ended her sentence and turned towards her conversation partner

while they continued to stride down the aisle to their seats.

The air was stuffy and instantly...

Out of nowhere, Lilly wanted to be back into the air-conditioned silver Honda of her partner ,

the vast landscape of Tennessee coming towards, seeing the green grass...

Angelo had now reached his seat and stowed his hand luggage.

Then he looked apologetically down at the two women who had stopped ,

to let the following passengers pass through to their seats

and to hear his answer.

" By chance you're right , Detective Rush!

Misses Lucille Sugar is my new employer.

It serves a foundation for delinquent children and young people who ,

on her farm -far away from the city-, to learn to govern their lives back on track

and to take responsibility .

To be honest , I'll pick up in Nashville two children from the New York forster care.

Right from their flight attendant on welfare who will accompany me to the ranch ...

Marisol and Jorge DaSilva .

Two siblings from Brooklyn who still should get a new chance

before they were sentenced to juvenile detention because of their burglary and drug stories.

You don't remember the means that had you and Detective Valens sought at that time to interview me in the jockey thing, do ya? "

Lilly nodded absently .

" My boss has spoken with Lucille and I recommended her

as he had accidentally discovered the display in the Internet .

So I can finally get my community service and work with the horses

to a common denominator and also qualify myself even further ,

which involves the management of a ranch.

This is a unique opportunity for me , not only professionally ,

but a brand new life to begin with ... "

He winked at Izzie .

Surprised Lil drew her eyebrows .

The mention of Scotty left an unpleasant stinging in her stomach ,

but she was soon back in control.

"That's very kind of your supervisor , I must say.

He won't loses a reliable employee as you happily... "

" I have to be honest.

I brought a very special passenger with me, who has earned a new start, too,

just like the two children and me. "

Angelo scratched his chin almost embarrassed.

The shadow of a three-day beard showed

already on his broad cheekbones.

" Now you make me curious about that, Angelo. "

Lilly said and watched him intensly.

" You'll laugh , Ma'am.

It is namely a horse. "

" A horse ! "

Izzie cried out enthusiastically.

"I love horses! "

Incredulous Lilly stares at the chic costume of her sister and the long,

perfectly manicured fingernails.

It occurred to her admittedly difficult to picture Izzie in

a pair of jeans and imagine her with a pitchfork in hand.

This seemed to be true to Angelo for a moment as well,

but then the charming smile returned to his face.

"Black Jack's Devil is a very special race horse , Elizabeth.

He makes up to its name - he is a black stallion, as black as the night ,

swift as the wind and diabolical as the devil .

He bit, hit even in his young days as a foal- at everything and everyone ,

whom came too close to him , be it human or another horse .

I never thought it possible that a horse , which is known to be one of herd animals ,

wants to be a loner.

I once had the good fortune to ride him when I was still a jockey -

I'll never forget it - this horse takes the riders as annoying passengers

only in order to be allowed to run.

Just for running -

Runnin' is his life .

He would deny a race without a jockey , if he could .

He has always just accepted them lordly.

His only friend is his stable companion, a small sheep named Nightfall . "

" A sheep - how cute ! "

Izzie fanned some air to herself eagerly.

Angelo ignored her and continued undeterred with the story :

"He has already run together hundreds of thousands of dollars ,

but then he was stolen in a big robbery.

In the chase with the police , there was an accident in a very remote region and the van

with him within was damaged.

The animal broke free and wandered for days lonely around in the woods.

Until he'd been recognized in the huge forest area by a vet

who had on a mug shot to capture him.

It is a miracle that he has even survived the accident ,

but his coat is covered with scars.

In the shootout with the police, he seemed gotten a bullet

and then he must have striped through the undergrowth a lot.

Since then, he refused to be even touched by anyone -

as I said, the vet who found him had to stun him. "

Izzie's pretty dark green eyes widened in shock and her mouth formed a little startled ,

"Oh . My God, the poor animal. What a drama! "

Angelo regretfully cocked his head .

" Yes, he was certainly not easy."

" But as such an excellent race horse, still worth a fortune , how do you now come into his possession ? "

Lilly wanted to know.

She was captivated by the story as well as her sister.

However, she wanted to have quite clear view.

" Already at the hunt, Detective , aren't you?

I'm in interrogation again?"

The man winked at her gleefully

and buried both hands in the pockets of his blue jeans.

Now it was the older of the Rush sister,who's bashfully blushing.

"Of course not , Angelo.

And you are welcome to call me Lilly, of course.

But ... "

" Blackjack is now worthless for its owner.

Have you ever heard the fact that some horses, like humans ,

become criminals, bad asses, even murders ? "

Lilly thought for a moment .

" Yes, I have heard of it.

But there isn't there an opportunity to help them - you know, horse whisperer and so ... "

Angelo laughed softly and nodded , but the tone of his voice was businesslike, as he added :

"They tried a lot. But ultimately, they wanted to give him to the butcher -

You remember what kinda'f transactions were made with race horses

when they are no longer appropriate for work, Lilly...? "

Lilly remembered very well to the pit of horse bones and the tales of the insurance frauds and the secret sailings to the slaughterhouse .

" Yes , unfortunately. "

Angelo raised his hand when he heard the sadness in her words.

"Well, he has been lucky in disguise ...

I paid hundred dollars more for him and the sheep, too,

as the price was battle and got both with me to Tennessee .

He is now in a kennel in the cargo plane, packed full with opiates

and with his best friend, the sheep.

And i bet that he's just waiting for me to get a good kick

as soon as I let him out of that box at the ranch. "

Rivera grinned as he mentioned this , so wide that Lilly could not defend herself ,

that it occurred to her that he really was looking forward for it,

to be hooked up with this crazy horse.

" And you hope to turn him down again , Angelo ?

Be a nice and friendly horse again? "

she asked cautiously.

The young man laughed uproariously .

"Oh no, Ma'am.

I'll still give him a chance -

up in the Smokey Mountains lives an old Cherokee ,

talking with the horses, as they say.

I will try to catch up an advice of his, and if that doesn't help,

I have decided to give Black Jack back his freedom-

So that he can be at least one of the wild horses there,

up in the mountains. "

Izzie sighed a content sigh.

"That's so ... generous of you, Angelo ! "

Lilly rolled her eyes this time and glanced at her wrist.

" Izzie , it's time .

Angelo, I was pleased to see you again !

If you are a new employee of Lucille , then we will meet again a lot in the coming months

because i namely spend my vacation on the ranch of your future employer. "

" Oh! "

Now it was Angelo, who look puzzled.

But he caught himself just as quickly as before,

and then Lilly replied with a smile in the direction of her sister

who turned around as he finally slid into his seat :

"That's wonderful!

Then I can introduce him to you and your lovely sister when we have arrived! "

" Yeah, sure."

Lilly turned ever more nervous around for her sister and hissed :

"Come on, Iz , we need to get to our seats ! "

But Izzie waved succinctly .

"Oh, Lil , please go ahead !

Angelo, the seat next to you's taken?

I can not wait to tell you about my work with young people in the youth criminal division

and the foster childcare!

I really need to hear your opinion about the Setting of Senator Duncan

to the new regulations of alternative therapies ... "

And she had slipped into the seat next to Rivera

and had implicated him in a lively discussion about justice policy .

Lilly sighed in defeat .

" Thank you so much, sis . "

Then she went off.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN:**

**Hi!**

**Long time no see!**

**Sorry about that :)**

**My dearest thanks, as always, to my reviewers, all the favourites and followers!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! No songs, no lyrics, no persons, no series... damn!**

**Stop! One thing, though it's just particular... but: I own Izzie!**

**Songs: **

**First Part: A thousand years by Christina Perri feat. Steve Kazae**

** Piano/Cello Cover by The Piano Boys**

** /QgaTQ5-XfMM**

**Second Part: Wild Horses by Natasha Bedingfield**

** /CWCzZQqtf3Y**

**Third Part: Titanium Cover by Madilyn Bailey**

** /nLl1_E22EOw**

**Last Part: Sexy Naughty Bitchy by Tata Young**

** /08Gl3Wzn6lo**

**And now-**

**on with the show!**

-12-

_Familiar pain is as hard as your own_

Lilly rummaged in her purse for her ticket and the associated seat reservation.

" Okay, row 16 , seats 14 and 15 .. well , then just 15 , thanks to Izzie's Flirt intentions ... "

she muttered absently to herself, and let the ice-blue eyes slided over the rows of seats .

" Ah, "

She could breathed easier when she reached the correct number , put her new handbag , -

Who would have ever thought that she would ever own a Louis Vuitton,

but Izzie had just dragged it out of the slimy guy of the Outlet Store -

the poor one who got under her spell-

into the small luggage compartment tucked above her head

and finally took place on her wide, comfortable seat and sighed.

Lilly picked up a magazine and began bored to leaf through it .

As Izzie still not appeared after a quarter,

Lilly slowly but surely got restless.

Meanwhile, all the passengers had apparently found their proper place ,

and the machine was ready for departure.

Lilly felt the roar of the engines and a tingling prepared in her whole body.

Full of expectation, she closed her eyes

and did something she hadn't enough time to in the last years-

listening to herself.

What was that?

Anticipation , she decided , yes, for seeing her friend Lucille again .

Beeing in the beautiful nature and meeting the friendly people there.

She was really lookin forward to get to know her sister better,

and so another part of her new family.

Maybe to discover that family can also takes place now

and maybe it'll be pleasant and without problems ,

not what it always has been like with Chris and Mom , it shot through her head.

Sure, this "holiday" resembled in some ways an escape , she was well aware of that fact.

But this thought carried her away ,

to a place where she did not want to go ...

Lilly yawned , grabbed her headphones and plugged it into the socket

provided for it in her seat, while she waited for her journey to begin .

A gentle song was played , and because Lilly liked piano music, she hangs onto it.

Lilly raised her eyebrows.

Suddenly she was back in Observation,

her hand on the button that connected the speakers of this room with the ones in interrogation.

Her eyes were fixed on the young man behind the mirrored glass ,

on his back , black hair , his casual attitude,

as he took place on the edge of the table

and she felt goose bumps spread on her forearms.

It was as if she could almost literally feel the warm glow

that emanated from this man in there.

Everything about him spoke of his confidence , his big ego ...

When the "interview guest" left the room

and Lilly heard the steps that were approaching her,

her heart started to beat a bit faster than normal.

He gave her his hand .

The pressure was as expected- warm and powerful .

Everything about him sprayed with life energy.

His brown eyes had some gold and green speckles .

She remembered his eyes ...

his face ...

his hands ...

his voice ...

And his laughter , his tears , his tantrums ...

All these countless hours marched in before her eyes-

The hours they spent together in the office ...

in the car on ...the missions ...outside... at Nashville ...

So many years ...

She took her cell phone on hand , lost in thought , looking sadly at the display.

Suddenly she noticed the unshared tears in the corners of her eyes ,

because all of a sudden...

She felt so lonely ...

Actually, the seat next to her should not be empty ...

* * *

The black mane fluttered in the wind, mingled with her blond hair, which was wildly blowin behind her back as a blazing flame in the sky.

Clouds moved quickly and restlessly around the arzur-blue and gray mountain peaks,

which she could make out in the distance.

The rhythm of drumming hooves mingled with her breath ,

it let her feel the sweet stream, a flush of oxygen tingle in her arteries ,

her heart beat up to her neck and once again the wonderful symphony

of the gallop swallowed up to new heights ,

the Pressure of the wind tugged at her face.

The howling wind, which was smacking against her cheek ,

the rocking mane which surely would remain red stripes visible,

as she lowered her head,bent down to the warm neck of the horse.

Tears ran down her lips and she tasted the salt on the tongue.

The salt and air were filling her lungs, transporting clear and pure water from the nearby rain ,

even the smell of the green grass and wild flowers

that were flying under the hard little hooves

like a patchwork quilt.

The bright colors swam before her eyes and she forced herself to close them.

The canter rang in her ears like the roar of an airplane engine,

the panting breath of the horse roared like a gurgling mountain stream in her brain.

Somewhere an eagle cried his high but silent song .

And yet this was like the noise of a wonderful silence ,

because it was a welcome change to her whirring , loud , unpleasant thoughts

which were turning in her head up and down, before they started to rise again,

up and down...

The motion would have to be so hard ,

but Lilly felt as if she was flying on a gently swaying hammock

in the middle between white clouds , back and forth,

as she now raised her head and opened her eyes again .

Blue and White.

White and blue.

Endless length , continuous- healing .

When was the sky, ever, closer ?!

Below her, huge muscle strands stretched and loosened,

there pumped a strong heart , three times larger lungs than hers took in a hard-featured strong breath,

which shook the entire horse's body with vitality ,

as the already breakneck speed increased again for many times over the first.

She threw back her head and pulled out the air,

before she let out a high , sharp cry

same as one of the eagles.

Freedom.

Limitless , wonderful , sweet , all-devouring freedom.

The thrill of speed , the feel of the living animal among her,

and the transfer of his joy at the unbroken happiness of the freedom

they could cheer .

Lilly's small, slim fingers dug no longer to the thin leather linen and sharp , hard mane hair ,

because her long legs had gained in recent weeks to immense power ,

and they were it what allowed her to stay for a flight on this black whirlwind.

They were the ones who allowed her to spread her arms in endorphin exuberance ,

like the eagle opened his wings,

stripes under her palms caressing along to feel its wings and the wind.

Her legs were pressed to the chest of the horse and

nothing and no one could disconnect them at this moment.

But there was no obligation, no concentration, in turn ,

because at the same time it was like the embrace of a lover

and it caused her no trouble, no effort, because for both it was a perfect naturalness.

The image of the horse and rider blurred before the eye of the beholder,

as two become one .

The big black horse galloped up on another grass hill , slowed and stopped.

Not because she would have demanded it, or as if exhaustion had taken possession of him-

Just because it felt like it , to look at the horizon , to wander under the last rays of the sun to be seen.

Immediately the frantic pulse slowed on its neck and the breathing was shallow ,

before it snorted and bowed its neck.

Peaceful and almost meditative began to chew a bunch of grass it plucked out.

Lilly patted the slender muscles lovingly

and her gaze wandered to the mountains

which were now so close to her .

She smiled as the sun disappeared on the horizon.

Her Pegasus was black, instead of white,

as the looming night appeared in the sky .

* * *

" Lilly ! Wake up! Lils ! "

Lilly Rush tedious blinked and looked at her sister Izzie confused.

" How long have I been asleep ?" She asked , startled.

" Not long. They can't start because someone has occured whom they had to wait for-

what that might be a celebrity then, if they actually wait for him? "

Izzie said, grinning .

"No idea . Probably an official, some politician ... "

Lilly rolled her eyes and hid her face behind the magazine that Izzie had given her,

pointing to the picture of a celebrity couple, when it suddenly rumbled before them.

Annoyed sounds of fellow passengers seemed to announce the late passenger.

"Sorry, ladies, but this seat's been taken?"

A blonde and a dark brown head appeared behind the edge of the paper,

blue and dark green eyes looked at each other dumbfounded.

* * *

_- Little Flashback-_

Izzie looked at the sky outside her window .

Angelo was completely fascinated with her work

after a few minutes and literally hung on her every word.

She smiled proudly.

Now he peppered her with questions already .

At that moment she realized that she couldn't leave her sister alone-

the man could wait.

Finally, it was her who forced Lilly to take her, too.

She apologized to Angelo and promised that as soon as it was possible,

that she'll come back and , when Lil would agree,

to spend the flight in the seat next to him ...

Her heart did a little somersault at the thought.

Those eyes , that smile ...

She scolded herself a little for this suddenly kindled interest in a total stranger.

But he had such a thing...

The kind way he spoke of his work with the children...

It really seems to mean something to him , what happened with those youngsters.

And his voice was so gentle and wistful at the same time ...

Sky, she fell into raptures- yeah right !

_Watching , Elizabeth Margery Cooper , this man is dangerous!_

her brain called out dutifully .

_God, I want him!_ Shouted the heart against it.

This "holiday" starts so well ...

Izzie thoughts were ironical

and she rolled- annoyed with herself-

her eyes when she approached Lils side.

Then she realized that her sister sobbed quietly to herself .

And although she did not know Lilly for long ,

her intuition told her that Lilly Rush crying was not an everyday but a rather unusual sight

and she rushed hurriedly through the hall , stumbling over on the Elderly.

"Lil ! What's going on ? Lilly ? "

She lifted the dangling headphones, caught a chorus that came to be known

and shrugged it off.

She would have to find out what was wrong with her elder sister -

she was not law student for nothing!

But Lilly reacted as if she had been caught doing something terribly embarrassing

and wiped her eyes, almost ... annoyingly ... Izzie decided.

A gesture so painful to watch,

that Izzie had to sigh with pity .

"Lils, whatever it is ... everything will be all right , you'll see. I will help you , you hear me? "

he sat down next to Lilly and pulled the small ,

still twitching shoulders tenderly in a generous hug.

Even if she felt that Lil inevitably stiffened immediately.

Nevertheless, she admitted it that Izzie kept her silently for a few moments in her arms,

stroked her back, like a child who had to be calmed down.

Lilly blinked wildly.

Izzie must done something magical to her,

-just like her mother Celeste -

because Lilly could let go and cried on her shoulder.

In seconds from zero to hero.

One another interesting thing, about such a "real" family ...

However, they did not speak a word .

Lil couldn't.

Still , her thoughts and feelings turned in a circle,

prepared her a headache that pierced and stung like red-hot needles .

Her sobs finally subsided and

Lilly slid completely abruptly into a fitful nap .

All her cells shouted formally after this short break.

Then the dream came.

She rode a big black horse.

_Me ! Riding!_

Suddenly she felt like laughing out loud.

Lilly hadn't sat on a horse's back , since her mother had taken her with her to her job at the racecourse

and one of the jockeys there had allowed the little blond girl it once,

when he led one of the thoroughbreds after training into the Box.

And she always was sure that nothing has escaped her

when her mother had lost her job because of her drunkenness ...

but maybe ...

Maybe it had ...

Izzie's impatient voice woke Lilly in any case and she looked around disoriented.

The plane was still on the ground, what surprised Lil,

but Izzie mumbled something of a belated passenger quipped it .

Might be a celebrity.

Elizabeth gave her one of the magazines,

which had distributed the stewardesses before, and they took it together,

right under their noses.

_-End of Little Flashback-_

* * *

That was the moment when Lil heard his voice

and wondered suddenly if she was still asleep and dreaming ...

"Sorry, Ladies, but this seat's been taken?"

Incredulous, she lowered simultaneously with her sister

the edge of the paper so far down ,

that she could look at him.

She was able to convince herself that he was really there ,

a black cowboy hat in his hand ,

which was casually over the back of Izzie's front man.

And he looked down at them both, almost grinning from ear to ear.

Well, she had to look almost comical, as she stared open-mouthed.

Lilly was abruptly aware and heard an audible "click " as her teeth

rebounded much too close together.

That earned her a startled glance from her sister.

"I don't want to expel anybody,

please, don't get me wrong, Ladies!

But, if I had understood Mister Rivera over there rightfully,"

and he half turned ,

gave a clear view on the smiling Angelo,

who looked almost shyly over to them ,

"Miss Cooper ,"

the young , yet unknown man now turned to Izzie ,

" he expects his interlocutor longingly back , and I thought - "

However, a quick glance to Lil

let Izzie to some sort of hesitation.

Her sister looked as if she had seen a ghost.

Her already so white skin was still a trace of pale

and her otherwise blue eyes were almost black,

Izzie noticed surprised.

Almost simultaneously with this observation was accompanied the impression

that something seemed to be eating up Lilly alive.

It was a horrible sight.

* * *

Izzie shivered.

It was long ago that she had experienced such a wave of pain herself.

And she would rather not be reminded

that her mask of confusion could protect her now from any suggestions,

any notice from her older sisters side, that it could deceive her environment ...

_**Flashback :**_

Roger studied her face for long.

Guilty feelings were reflected in his otherwise cheerful freckled face.

"I'm really sorry , Mag!"

She reached out for the doorknob .

The odor of disinfection stung her nose and tears gathered in her eyes.

Although she was only wearing her hospital gown and a thin bathrobe on top,

she managed to stand upright and found the energy to stretch out her chin .

To banish the wave of unspeakable pain from her pale , still pretty facial features,

although her knees were trembling.

"I don't want to see you here Roger!

What's done can not be undone. "

Her dark green eyes spit fire

" Anne and Josh had paid your carelessness with their life.

I won't speak of me even, understand? !

It's too late to change anything you've done.

You'll hear from our attorney , if the ADA is not even faster . "

With a certain satisfaction she saw fear flashing through his normally carefree gray eyes-

but this feeling did not last long enough in order to prevent the tsunami in her interior

before the outbreak .

The water was nearby.

She felt the tremor in her legs and knew that

in the moment in which this door would close behind him ,

inevitably , the water would come.

With the last remaining power that was still in her,

she opened the door and pointed out into the cold hospital corridor .

"I want you to never look back at me!"

she croaked , feeling the waves inexorably approaching.

" Never, EVER, again , ya _understand_ me ?!"

He lowered his head and stepped outside with drooping his shoulders .

The door slammed shut and the sound rang in her ears.

Her hand fell back from the handle and was shaking.

The tremor recorded the rest of her body

and threw Elizabeth rudely to the ground,

slipped the shirt and you could see the long ,

bluish- purple scar that crossed her lower abdomen,

now to be seen.

Convulsions of suppressed rage shook her and torrents ran down her cheeks.

And finally, after almost two weeks , Elizabeth cried and sobbed .

She could not cry when the parents of Anne appeared at her bedside ,

took her hand and tried to comfort her , even though it was their daughter

who was the one ...

who had just been buried.

Elizabeth felt guilty then because of the fact that not a single tear came .

Not even when Joshs father, dressed in black,

leaned in the doorway , broken by the death of his beloved Son,

and always returned to the one and only question he could pronounce at her:

"Why?!"

he asked, over and over again, until Paul and Celeste took him out of Elizabeths room.

She could not tell him...

Why her fiancé Roger did murder two of his best friends.

And hurted herself so much.

At that evening, which should be one of the most happiest days in her life,

the lives of Josh, her best friend since childhood, and Anne, his financé,

had ended in a car accident.

It was the evening when Roger stepped at her at the club,

in the circle of their closest friends, and asked for her hand.

And then, unnoticed by them,

an Ecstasy pill had been dropped down his throat.

And he sat behind the wheel of his Audi TT .

She had not known that Roger took drugs .

Apparently they had been deceived in many ways -

she thought bitterly.

Elizabeth saw now

how the tree- this damn big tree- in slow motion-, was hurtling up,

heard her own cry of terror, horror, and the ones of the others,

mingled with the bursting of the metal from the car.

Then ...

Complete blackness.

A week long.

Her father, who taught her with an iron face that her two friends Anne and Josh

had been dead on the spot .

Roger miraculously unharmed.

Then, a bit later, she saw Finn, who's expression shows so much pity

when he held her hand in the Bandage .

Her mother, who told her in a trembling voice

that Elizabeth had damn luck

that she had been thrown out off the car,

as it had begun to spin like a carousel .

That she was one week located in an artificial coma .

No one would see the scar on the back of her head once the hair was back.

And no one would ever see the one scar on her soul!

Elizabeth vowed at that moment.

Then her mother hugged her and sobbed softly -

" You have to tell her, Paul . I ... I can not.

I can't even get it into my own head and heart ! "

Celeste begged and threw her husband desperate glances.

Her Dad put his large , calloused hand on Elizabeths cheek.

She shrugged as she even felt the touch today.

She heard him as if from very,

very far away.

" Maggie , my dear, you have to be very strong now, Darling. "

Her lower lip trembled at the sound of his voice.

" What's the matter with me , Daddy? "

Yes , she sounded like a five year old .

Automatically she reached for her legs.

Was she paralyzed ?

Fear closed her throat.

But she felt ... they were still there , right?

Yes , headaches, yes , abdominal pain , but ...

" Elizabeth , it's not your legs ...

It's your ...

The doctors had to do a hysterectomy

because you had internal bleeding , Honey. "

At first she did not understand what he meant .

"Daddy ... "

" You ... god, my little...,

the doctors had to remove a kidney.

Your ribs were brocken.

But they could not do anything that relates to your ...

your abdomen , Sweetie.

I'm so orry , but they had to remove your uterus. "

Horrified, she stared at him.

No.

NO!

She was twenty-four years old .

She had her whole life ahead!

"We had to give our consent , Honey, because if we refuse...

otherwise... you 'd have bled to death ! "

Her mother cried quietly.

Suddenly she was...

_SO COLD._

Everything's cold now.

Then everything went black again

when she fainted.

This all devouring , blessed twilight ...

**End of Flashback**

The cold slowly stepped out of her.

Izzie swallowed hard .

But she had survived.

She lived on.

Still .

And the pain had not destroyed her.

A small voice inside her made a mental note to ask Lilly one day ,

what had happened to her, too... if she knew that kind of pain... so obviously.

But only if she would be willing to tell Lil herself about the accident.

And its consequences.

There's still time left for the Drama.

Enough time to talk it through what had to be talked over.

Her, Elizabeth, was not important now .

Because it wouldn't help Lil, just because she saw this kinda'f pain in the eyes of her sister

and recognized it.

She had to do something about it.

Together they would defeat the pain in their lives, yeah...

but without one of them who had things to reveal .

They were Paul Cooper's daughters , for Gods sake!

But before Izzie was now still this guy ,

who was leaning there so casual above them.

Lilly pushed her chin up vigorously before and her eyes narrowed to slits all of the sudden.

_Uh oh , I'm already sorry for that guy._

Izzie shook her head to clear it .

" I'll stay with my sister , Sir.

If you'll excuse us now ... ! "

Izzie's voice trembled just a little bit and she fervently hoped that the apologetic

smile, which she threw away at Angelo, over the rows of seats ,

not revealed too much about her disappointment.

To underscore she jumped regretfully shoulders in Angelos direction.

But Lilly raised an imperious hand , and brought them both to silence.

"No, Izzie , it's ... alright.

Really- I'm fine, 'kay?!

I already... know the gentleman , "

Lilly looked at the young man and her face hardened almost imperceptibly ,

before she continued coldly :

" Detective Scotty Valens , I would like to introduce my sister -

Elizabeth Margery Cooper. "

And then Lilly turned to Izzie:

" Izzie...This is... My partner.

Detective Scotty Valens , Philadelphia Police Department,

Homicide . "

Izzie briefly bowed her head.

Then she offered him her hand to salute.

To her surprise, he pulled her close to his face and breathed a shapely hand kiss on her knuckles .

His dark brown eyes that reminded Izzie to the strong color of coffee beans ,

sparkled ... amused , she decided.

Izzie also lifted her chin and a polite smile spread across her face ,

but without reaching her eyes.

" However, this is a pleasant surprise , Detective Valens .

Didn't you get a suspension, too ? "

Izzie wanted to know, cutting straight to the point.

It's not an understatement when she told Lil

that one day she wants to be ADA.

To have people do the cross examination in front of her.

As far as Lil had told her, she knew a little about

this Detective Valens.

It was not much , but that was easy to work with.

A future lawyer not required a lot of information ,

to spy on a suspect.

Elizabeth appeared to be absolutley, completely unfazed from his flattery .

"Well, it is my honor to make your acquaintance , Miss Cooper. "

Scotty answered quitley without taking the hint and now he turned to Lil.

Izzie observed him subspiciously...

Something in the way, about the way...the way he looked at her sister ...

"Lil , I certainly don't want to ruin your sisterly reunion.

If you don't want to see me right now, I'll understand that, of course.

If I have to pull back ... "

All of a sudden his so self- conscious voice was no longer a trace

as strong and clear as it ever was.

Was that ...?!

That was about doubt and unease, even -

Fear of rejection in this quiet gentle voice

that seemed to be designed just for her?

What's going on here?

Izzie slightly raised her eyebrows .

How interesting !

Her nose tickled at this moment.

She could not deceive his Prince Charming demeanor.

And not Lilly's apparent selflessness.

Something was definitely in the bush.

" Elizabeth.

I want you to be a nice society to Mr. Rivera.

You would have asked me in a few minutes anyway! "

Did she fantasize, or did Lil winked at her in a fit of desperate sympathy,

so she just could go ?

"Please - in a few hours we are in Nashville.

And then you can do whatever you want with the things of my wardrobe.

That should suffice as a consolation prize, right ? "

Izzie looked at her sister , frowning , trying to make sense

of the contradictory statements of her language and her eyes ...

„You mean... everything i want?"

Lilly blushed.

" Now ...Go, Iz ! "

Faking a big and exhausted sigh

Elizabeth rose again from Lilly's side and threw the Cowboy/Detective,

-what ever-, a warning look when she passed him.

"If I'll hear any remonstrances about your behavior... "

She bared her teeth to something that might should be a smile

but it looked like the last thing a gazelle would see

before the lion sunk in his teeth into its neck.

He thought he could be relieved that she had already passed

and didn't slap him... slap him hard against his arm.

"I 'm a big girl , Iz .

I'm a Cop , remember?

I 'm surely in charge to take care of myself ! "

Lilly nodded at her encouragingly and pointed to Angelo , who smiled triumphantly .

" Come on, you are expected . "

Redness plated Izzie's cheeks as she finally , seemingly reluctantly , conceded the field .

For a brief moment though she bent down to Scotty and whispered into his ear,

sounding softly and smiling sweetly:

" This is my sister , Mister.

If you even bend her one hair, I'm going to rip your head off!

And after that you can only return to work for patrollin' the streets.

Have I clearly and unequivocally expressed, what i intened,

Detective Valens ? "

She slowly got up again , throwing back her thick, brown strands in a skilful movement

and winked conspiratorially over her shoulder at Lilly .

Scotty gasped at her.

"If he makes any trouble, then simply handcuff him, Lils.

I'll do the rest. "


End file.
